Monday, March 31, 2008

Mosley caught ridin' dirty

Ok, by now most people know that FIA-boss Max Mosley is into some pretty freaky-shit. Like rather, um, well... We'll just call it antisemitic, Nazi-themed sex.

The FIA has remained tight-lipped over the whole deal.

What's the big fuss, you ask?

Judge for yourself.

Our friends at Jalopnik have posted the video. Warning: not safe for work. Happy Monday.

Weekend recap

What you missed whilst taking part in a Nazi-themed orgy... Hey, it was only Nazi-themed. There were no real Nazis...(That we know of, that is.)

-There were no earth-shattering surprises in the season-opener for your newly-merged IndyCar series. The Champ Car ex-pats were considerably off-pace (Servia was the highest finisher, P12, five laps down), and Scott Dixon took victory. Tony Kanaan was driving away from the field when he was collected by the spinning Ernesto Viso with seven laps to go, paving the way for Dixon. Little-Andretti looked strong, as did the Vision Racing guys (they qualified P2 and P3, only to be DQ'ed after inspection.- If Tony George's team can't understand the rulebook, how is anyone else supposed to?)

- The Sprint Cup race at Martinsville was boring, plus it looked really cold there. Denny Hamlin won. Read about it if you want, though we don't recommend it.

- The Craftsman Truck race on Saturday was more entertaining than the Cup race (though the same could be said about a Chelsey Lately rerun). Dennis Setzer won. Kyle Busch wrecked Johnny Benson out of second place, then Benson's crew tried to fight Busch while he was in his car after the race. It was rather humorous.

-The NHRA guys were in Houston. Antron Brown won Top Fuel. That would be pro-stock motorcycle-stud Antron Brown. Ashley Force made it to the finals in funny car. Then she lost.

- Grand Am was in Homestead. Scott Pruett and Memo Rojas won for Ganassi. Pruett said, "hi" to his family at home. Why don't they ever come to the track?

Friday, March 28, 2008

IndyCar season preview-part IV

Taking it team-by-team (must be read and hummed aloud to the cadence of the Micheal McDonald hit of the similar name).

Ridebuyer is happy to present the following team-by-team look into the 2008 IRL IndyCar season. Feel free to print the subsequent posts and compile your own personal Ridebuyer media guide. (Seriously, if anyone does this, DUI yourself into the nearest pond. Immediately.)

In this post, the ex-pats!: KV Racing Technology and Newman/Haas/Lanigan Racing.

KV Racing Technology:

What to Know:

We'll call KV the second-best Champ Car ex-pats making a go of it this IndyCar season. They are well-funded, have bright guys running the program and have a veteran driver with oval experience. They come to the fray sporting the cockpit services of Oriol Servia (the vet) and Will Power. Of course, Newman/Haas/Lanigan would have to be considered the cream of the newbie-crop, but the gap between the movie star's team and KV may not be as expansive as some think. For starters, the driver lineup for KV may be stronger than what NHLR has. Servia is a known quantity. While never competing in an IRL event, he did attempt a qualifying run at Indy in 2002 for Walker, and showed speed on ovals in the CART days. As for Will Power, well, he is a beast in the making. Without the merger, Power would be battling for a Champ Car title this season. He had victories at Toronto and Vegas in 2007 and if he can figure out how to run an oval in traffic he will compete with anyone.

This team was formed so recently, they have no website. That makes finding info on crew members a tad challenging. (Sorry, Ridebuyer does not have a Rolodex filled with the bios of tire changers. Though it would have helped when we blew a Goodyear on I95 last year.) But, we are confidant that all of the crew guys are not only experienced, but professional and have a savant-type knowledge of Honda engines and Dallara chassis. Why wouldn't they? Jimmy Vasser wouldn't hire slack-jawed mules.

The only possible sticking point Ridebuyer sees in future of KV revolves around their new funding-buddy, Australian wine mogul Graig Gore. Robin Miller questions his integrity. That means we must also. To be fair, Gore screwed Darrick Walker. That means Miller can call him whatever he pleases. No questions asked. Scroll to 1:40 in the clip to hear Vasser's comments on his new partner and his shady-past.

*We wanted to show the Windtunnel clip that featured the entire Robin Miller interview from last week (where he called Craig Gore a criminal), but it was mysteriously removed from Could the slander police have paid a visit?


KV is no joke. They have two drivers who should be up to speed on ovals quickly and will be competitive on road/street courses immediately. Jimmy Vasser is bright racing guy and is proving that in his ownership role. His partner (Kevin Kalkhoven) seems to know, well, software. (Oh, and how to merge two racing series'). So long as Gore doesn't flake out on the vineyard money, they will be alright.


What to know:

This team is the ex-Champ Car equivalent of current-day Penske or Ganassi. They are the all-stars, the studs and the girl everyone wants to fuck in high school, all wrapped in one. They were the perennial championship favorites in Champ Car, and had the series not dissolved, likely would have secured another title with Justin Wilson this year. NHLR brings Wilson and Graham Rahal to the IndyCar Series for the merge-year, both accomplished; one came from F1, another is on his way. The transition for the team to the IndyCar Series has not been easy. The team missed the Sebring test (the team cited a lack of parts), and Rahal wadded a car in the Homestead oval test, forcing his entry to be withdrawal from the race, the team again citing a lack of chassis parts. (Irony. Team owner Carl Haas has said on many occasions that he has $2 million worth of new -now useless- chassis parts for the Panoz DP01 in storage. And, during his time as the distributor of Lola parts in America, Champ Car teams complained Haas never had the innovatory of parts they needed. Full circle.)


This team should be competing for race wins on road/street courses. Wilson will get up to speed faster on ovals than Rahal (We think he'll be in F1 in two seasons, so don't fret). Rahal wont need too much time to find his feet. (You'd expect this from the most talented American-born racing driver in 20 years. How's that for a Ridebuyer endorsement?) To put his age into perspective, Rahal graduated from high school last year, and was born three years after his Pop won Indy. Holy shit, everyone in the world (minus Rahal, of course) is old as dirt.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Goody's Cool Orange 500

Each week Ridebuyer delves deep into the misunderstood, oft terrifying, world of American saloon-car racing known as NASCAR.

This week: Martinsville... AKA the new leader in our quest for NASCAR's most-ridiculous sponsor-laden race name.

TV: Fox 1:30pm EST
Location: Martinsville Speedway (Martinsville, VA)
Distance: 263 miles/500 laps
2007 Martinsville winners: J. Johnson (spring race); See previous (fall race).

*What to know:
We certainly hope you enjoyed last weekend. A Saturday/Sunday combo sans Cup race is something of a rarity this time of year. Sure, there was a Nationwide race last Saturday, but who would waste their time couch-bound when beautiful weather and family orientated fun was to be had? And for what? A Nationwide race... Wait, you watched too? Good. We are not alone. Of course, some people dread the off-week. Not having a six hour block of Cup racing might force some to change their Sunday rituals. Some will be tempted to engage in the following off-week sacrileges: Socialize, attend family functions, get conned into going to a church service (god forbid), talk to the people who live around you, etc... Holy shit, thank Allah NASCAR is back. It takes the pain away from dull and monotonous world which we live. Ah, the joys of the Easter weekend break...

Well, we have appeared to get a bit sidetracked. On to racing. The event at hand is somewhat similar to the previous race, in that Martinsville is a short track, and is located in the real (capital 'S') South. Much of what it takes to be successful at Bristol is needed to run good (NASCAR term meaning to have a well performing racing vechical. I think it is of Slavic origin) at Martinsville. Certainly avoiding contact will be difficult and the driver that keeps his nose clean the longest should be in contention to win. For those not familiar with Martinsville's layout, here is Google Map to shed some light:

As you can see, the track has a rather unique shape, providing long straightaways and short, tight corners. As with many short tracks, aerodynamics don't play as huge of a role as mechanical grip and a car that handles properly through the corners will have an advantage over the most hot-rodded of mounts. Martinsville races usually play pretty high in the caution flag department, and the possibility of seeing yellow inside the ten-to-go mark is high. Should this situation happen Sunday, the lead driver will be like a duck waiting for his beating from the hen hound.

It is incredibly important to note where this race is being held. Southwest Virgina is not quite the Virgina is for Lovers we all know and respect. Martinsville is closer to Tennessee and North Carolina than the white sand beaches and dog fights of the eastern portions of the state. This is the home to moonshine, white lightening, hooch and that stuff that comes in a mason jar and tastes like peach and WD-40. (You know the stuff, it helped you bag that Blacksburg Towny who later become your second wife.) The point is, be prepared. Even if you are just watching the race at home on Sunday, you could find yourself in the greater-Martinsville area one day. Knowledge is power and this could save your families life. Just feed them booze and keep driving.

*Who to watch:

Jeff Gordon: He may be relegated to the 14th spot in points, but Jeff Gordon is the Don of Martinsville. He has 24 career top ten finishes at the track. 24. Jesus. He has more top tens than Ridebuyer has hits in a week. Of those 24, he was won seven times. Gordon is even money to get his first win of the season on Sunday.

Kyle Busch: The points leader has posted some decent finishes at Martinsville (three top fives and an average placing of 13.2), but only has one career win at a short track. But, Busch will be fired up to perform on Sunday, because he will have been wrecked out of the truck race (for what seems like the 15th time this year) and pissed off at the world. Hell hath no fury like a Busch scorn.

Jimmie Johnson: I too find it foolish to put Johnson on the Who to watch list every weekend. It gets repetitive and dull, plus the guy has won as many Cup races this season as Jose Conseco (null). The fact of the matter is, Johnson is a stud who can win anywhere. Why that hasn't happened this season could be attributed to any number of reasons including the mild winter, lackluster new season of Lost, or Ridebuyer's theory about Johnson's involvement with a Western Kentucky-led plot to screw fantasy and bracket picks to high heaven. For the record, Johnson swept both Martinsville dates last season.

*Dark Horse*

Tony Stewart: Consistent finishes this season, plus Stewart was the last non-Hendrick driver to win at Martinsville (2004). He sits seventh in the series' points and is ready to pounce, which will be easier now that he has cut his mullet. It's a wind resistance thing.

*For those heading to the track:

Martinsville has the most absurd restrictions for what can and cannot be brought into the track. To illustrate the absurdity and all its absurdness, here is what their website says:

The speedway allows each fan to bring:

• One soft-sided bag/cooler, no larger than 6x6x12 inches. Examples include: a soft-sided cooler, a scanner bag, a fanny pack, a purse, a diaper bag or a binocular bag, etc. The soft-sided insulated cooler may contain ice.

• One clear plastic bag, no larger than 18x18x4 inches to accommodate samples received and purchases made after fans have parked their cars. Clear plastic bags may not contain ice.

• Binoculars, scanners, headsets and cameras -- not in a bag -- worn separately over the neck or on the belt, and seat cushions carried separately are also allowed. Seat cushions with compartments will be reviewed on an individual basis.

Get to the track early, hang out and tailgate. Bring the grill, chairs, horseshoes and food.

Who plays horseshoes anyway? And why can't I put ice in my plastic bag? Fascists.

*Series points:

1 Kyle Busch
2 Greg Biffle
3 Kevin Harvick
4 Jeff Burton
5 Dale Earnhardt Jr.
6 Kasey Kahne
7 Tony Stewart
8 Ryan Newman
9 Clint Bowyer
10 Kurt Busch
11 Matt Kenseth
12 Martin Truex Jr.

*Next Week, Texas.

We have a whole week to polish up on cowboy jokes and stereotypes. Ridebuyer will be ready, will you?

You're all sick bastards

As it turns out, most of the people who access the lowly blog known as Ridebuyer are looking for gay porn. No, seriously.

Awhile back Ridebuyer had a rather humorous post about Frankie Muniz and his exploits as a racing driver in the Atlantic Series. There was even a photograph of the Malcolm in the Middle-star. Said photo was (like all of the photos on this site) shamelessly lifted from a Google picture such and copied for our enjoyment. Muniz was scantly-clad, and our editors (me) were quite sure it was a photo shopped-bogus pic.

Anyway, a brief look at the 'referring URL" section of Ridebuyer's Sitemeter account yielded some funny results. About 1/3 of all of the hits to this site came from the following Google search terms: Frankie+Muniz+nude or some derivative of those terms. No shit. I guess we should pick up more Muniz stories.

Hey, we'll take the hits as they come. Sorry to disappoint those folks looking to jerk it to Malcolm... But, since you are here... Check things out, maybe you like motor racing and didn't even know it. -ed.

IndyCar season preview-part III

Taking it team-by-team (must be read and hummed aloud to the cadence of the Micheal McDonald hit of the similar name).

Ridebuyer is happy to present the following team-by-team look into the 2008 IRL IndyCar season. Feel free to print the subsequent posts and compile your own personal Ridebuyer media guide. (Seriously, if anyone does this, DUI yourself into the nearest pond. Immediately.)

Dreyer & Reinbold:

What to Know:
Unlike the two previous teams outlined (Conquest and Coyne), D&R are part of the IRL old-guard. The team principle Dennis Reinbold is pretty well known throughout Indianapolis for his car dealerships (yeah, he's kind-of a big deal), and started his IndyCar outfit in 1999. Robbie Buhl drove for the team until he stepped into the ownership role he now has. For this season the team has three drivers under contract. Buddy Rice, Townsend Bell and Milka Duno. Rice will run the entire schedule, while Bell and Duno will tag-team the other entry. (D&R say they will run the trio at Indy.) Duno will start the season at Homestead, with Bell seemingly to pick up the slack at road/street courses. Ridebuyer wonders aloud as to why Duno runs exclusively ovals in the IndyCar Series as she has shown her ineptness time after time turning left. She comes from a road racing background, and might (a big might, by the way) feel more comfortable on similar tracks. Just a thought. Kudos to the team for running Rice (who dispite winning the Indy 500 still gets overlooked) and Bell (same deal as Rice, just minus Indy). And hey, Duno pays the bills with that fat Citgo check (thank you Hugo Chavez).


The team hopes Rice and Bell can have enough success to offset the damage bill Duno will run up. That means, Rice must win Indy and Bell must podium in all street/road events. A tall order. Seriously, the team should be able to run top ten with Rice everywhere, and top fives for Bell and Rice off of the ovals is possible. Duno will wreck (at least Ashley Judd wont be around to bitch about it though, that was annoying). We will leave you with this... Why are Milka Duno's nostrils so close together?... That's not a setup for a joke, we really want to know. Seriously, it weirds us out.

HVM Racing:

What to know:

In the spirit of full disclosure, we only know the following about HVM Racing:

Keith Wiggins is the owner.

The team was purchased from the old Bettenhausen Racing remnants

The Minardi guy was somehow involved with the squad last year.

That's about it. They won some races in Champ Car (including an oval race with Ryan Hunter- Reay). And that pretty much covers it. As for their driver Ernesto Viso, well... We know less. So instead of bullshitting everyone by making up some malarkey about his road racing prowess, do us all a favor and follow the above link. Read about him yourself, don't be lazy. He may even be interesting... For more information about the team and their driver, give HVM a call @ 317-524-3995. I'm sure they would be happy to talk to a fan. Tell 'em Ridebuyer sent you.


Struggle. Lets hope he doesn't wad a car up in Homestead, because that would likely write-off St. Pete. Good luck though.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

IndyCar season preview-part II

Taking it team-by-team (must be read and hummed aloud to the cadence of the Micheal McDonald hit of the similar name).

Ridebuyer is happy to present the following team-by-team look into the 2008 IRL IndyCar season. Feel free to print the subsequent posts and compile your own personal Ridebuyer media guide. (Seriously, if anyone does this, DUI yourself into the nearest pond. Immediately.)


What to Know:
Eric Bachelart's team finds itself in the same boat as the other former-Champ Car squads attempting to make the big IndyCar "switch." Aside from having two drivers with zero oval experience (Franck Perera and Enrique Bernoldi-more info on Bernoldi here), the team also has had nearly no time to develop (if that's what you call it) and test their new IndyCar equipment before Saturday night's season opener in Miami. That said, the team has experence with ovals in the sense that Bachelart and co. ran in the IRL in 2002 (Can you say Laurent Redon?) before returning to Champ Car and solely concentrating on three-day festivals o' speed.

As for the drivers, Bernoldi has a decent amount of F1 experience and Perera finished second in the Atlantic Championship last season. It is a given that both drivers were able to parlay these rides with considerable um, personal sponsorship. But, it is what it is.

Eric Bachelart is a true racer. He has never had a lewd amount of funding to make things happen the easy way for his team (or even when he was a driver, for that matter). The team should be able to adapt, and the process will be made easier by some longtime crew members who have been around the block in racing. (Including this guy, who I'm told looks like me.) Top ten finishes on road/street courses for Conquest team seems equitable enough. On ovals, battling with likes of Roth and Duno is likely.

Dale Coyne Racing:

What to know:

Much of what was said about Bachelart can be applied to Dale Coyne. He has been around the open-wheel world for some time, and has never had tons of cash to make things simple. Despite what the Coyne Racing link on says, DCR will field two cars this season. Bruno Junqueira (playing to role of grizzled-veteran) has one mount, while Mario Moraes (the brash, unknown rookie trying to make a name for himself) will steer the team-car. If this seems oddly familiar to you, you are not alone. Coyne clearly ripped-off the storyline of Driven when assembling his team:

Sly, er Junqueira, that is, has the most oval experience of any Champ Car refuge and was bloody quick in his experiences in the 500. (Pole in 2002, led 12-laps in 2004, four career starts total.) As for Jimmy Bly (or Mario Moraes, whatever), he is young, really young. Like born in 1988, young. He does not have much (any) experience in high-horsepower cars, coming from various F3 series' and much karting. Ovals will be an issue (see a theme here?). Aside from that, I'm told the ladies think he is dreamy... Can't argue with that.


Much like Conquest, top tens on road/street circuits are possible for the Coyne crowd. Junqueira could go higher and could surprise at Indy come May. The huge ace-in-hole for this team is Bruno, as he can likely set-up the car for Moraes and help him attempt to unlock the secrets with regards to oval-related whathaveyous. Hey, anyone who started their racing team running SCCA in the 70's, and and has been in Indy-type cars ever since 1984 (without funding from drug running), well, you Dale Coyne might be Ridebuyer's hero.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

IndyCar season preview

Taking it team-by-team (must be read and hummed aloud to the cadence of the Micheal McDonald hit of the similar name).

Ridebuyer is happy to present the following team-by-team look into the 2008 IRL IndyCar season. Feel free to print the subsequent posts and compile your own personal Ridebuyer media guide. (Seriously, if anyone does this, DUI yourself into the nearest pond. Immediately.)

In this post: A.J. Foyt Enterprises and Andretti Green Racing.

A.J. Foyt Enterprises-

What to know:

Super Tex's one-car outfit has Darren Manning returning for his second season with the team. Manning's #14 finished last season with a few strong runs including a career-tying high forth place at Detroit. The team was restructured last season with A.J.'s son Larry assuming a larger role in day-to-day operations, maybe adding some life into the sometimes flaccid outfit. Expect the team to run well on road and street courses as well as short ovals.

Despite A.J. personally out-dating the internal combustion engine, his team has some youthful faces, which is pretty cool. (Much of the over-the-wall crew look like they would have a tough time ordering a drink in a Bolivian brothel.) Speaking of booze, the team retains secondary sponsorship from Cabo Wabo Tequila. This would be awesome, but Sammy Hagar has weired us out since "I can't drive 55" was used in Back to the Future II in the soundtrack for the alternate 1985 scenes.


Don't expect wins, but podiums are certainly attainable. Manning is more than capable of competing with any driver in the series. But, who knows? If the team is near the front at the end of an event they could backdoor a 'W.' Oh, just don't use the term backdoor around A.J., he doesn't like the queer-talk.

Andretti Green Racing-

What to know:

The four-car uber-team is back and just as uber as ever. Series champ and Indy winner Dario Franchitti has hit the bricks and the squad has enlisted the services of one Hideki Mutoh to fill the void. Yes, Mutoh is a rookie in the IndyCar Series, but the team is proven and Mutoh has shown that he is not your typical Honda-funded boner. Joining Mutoh is the trio of Danica Patrick, Tony Kanaan, and Marco Andretti. All clearly have the equipment to win races this season, yet only Kanaan and Marco are likely to. This is not to completely write off the rookie and the broad. Mutoh could set the world on fire (?), and Danica has the strange ability to race Indianapolis like a beast. She will be competitive as shit come May.


The team will be competitive on all tracks the IndyCar Series competes. They are well-funded and occasionally well-managed. Kanaan has to do the brunt of the development work for the entire team since his vet-buddy Franchitti has left. More work? Yes. Can he do it? You bet. Kanaan is a championship contender right out of the gate. Marco wins a race. (Probably a road or street event.) Danica and Mutoh? Your guess is as good as mine.

*Ed. note: If the world was fair, Danica Patrick would be excluded from contention of all racing events for the calender year 2008 solely because of the music that plays when you go to her website. Holy shit, that is dismal.

Monday, March 24, 2008's incredible timing

Last Wednesday was a tough day for's Jim Chiappelli. Bemoaning the relative lack of opportunities to see winged-sprints on dirt in his home of North Carolina, Chiappelli scribed an editorial piece to outline his frustrations. Chiappelli (like many racing guys still dealing with the doldrums of winter) just wants to see some good old fashioned dirt racing. He even reflects back to the days of his youth, growing up in sprint car rich middle-Pennsylvania, where dirt cars flock like the swallows of Capistrano.

A sprint car void of epic proportions, no doubt. If only there was an outlet to televise such racing. Then, all of the problems Chiappelli faces would be resolved....

Brace yourself for Sunday's (four days after the original Chiappelli piece was published) Breaking News:

World Racing Group announced today that SPEED will be the exclusive television partner for World of Outlaws racing in 2008. The partnership will be anchored by five super-sized multi-hour events, three of which will be broadcast live, including the highly successful World of Outlaws World Finals season finale.

As it happens, the above article was also scribed by Chiappelli!

Wait, it's almost like the original opinion piece was just an early plug for Speedtv's upcoming television programming. An advertisement thinly disguised as an article? Could it be?

*Ed. note: Ridebuyer understands the irony of posting something critical about Speedtv when we often link to their site and pilfer their images. Irony acknowledged, noted and disregarded.

Weekend recap

Rough estimates tell us this past weekend featured 300+ hours of televised college basketball. With this many options to keep folks entertained (plus a fairly slow racing weekend), it is safe to say racing may have taken a backseat. So, here is what you missed while kicking yourself for not taking Davidson to the Sweet-16 in your office pool. -In case you wondered, Ridebuyer's bracket was mathematically eliminated when Coppin St. lost the play-in game. Fuckin' Mt. St. Mary's.

- Kimi Raikkonen won the second round of the F1 world championship in Malaysia. More interesting than who won: Robert Kubica (BMW-Sauber) finished second. Here is your top-10:

1) Raikkonen, Ferrari, 1h31:18.555
2) Kubica, BMW Sauber, +19.570
3) Kovalainen, McLaren-Mercedes, +38.450
4) Trulli, Toyota, +45.832
5) Hamilton, McLaren-Mercedes, +46.548
6) Heidfeld, BMW Sauber, +49.833
7) Webber, Red Bull-Renault, +1:08.130
8) Alonso, Renault, +1:10.041
9) Coulthard, Red Bull-Renault, +1:16.220
10) Button, Honda, +1:26.214

-Kyle Busch managed to grasp defeat from the jaws of victory (again) in the Nationwide Series race in Nashville. Cheers to Scott Wimmer for getting his first NASCAR-sanctioned victory since 2003, also the first win by a non-Cup regular in a Nationwide race this season. Here is your top-10:

1) Scott Wimmer
2) Clint Bowyer
3) Carl Edwards
4) Brad Keselowski
5) Kelly Bires
6) David Stremme
7) Denny Hamlin
8) Cale Gale*
9) David Reutimann
10) Bobby Hamilton Jr

*Ridebuyer does not have a clue who this is, but clearly Cale Gale is our new favorite racing driver. Ever. Period.

Friday, March 21, 2008

What the hell was Richard Antinucci talking about?

For those not familiar with Richard Antinucci, he is the 27 year-old nephew of Eddie Cheever Jr., who happens to be quite the little racing pilot. He contested the British F3 championship, has tested with BMW Williams F1 and is now stateside running in the Indy Pro Series (now called Firestone Indy Lights, by the way). Antinucci was part of this week's IRL teleconference, to talk about his new ride with Sam Schmidt Motorsports. He did address the racing thing, yet also made this startling disclosure:

Q. How much is your uncle fed into all of this? Is he giving you some advice and all of that?

RICHARD ANTINUCCI: My uncle's always there for advice. He's very good on super speedways in my opinion. So it's always good advice. To be honest with you, I've been quite busy with my team and working on their indications and their feedback. And I haven't had time to rub off any regarding this new season.

To be fair, a lowly blog like Ridebuyer does not have the privilege to be included in IRL teleconferences, so we did not hear the above phrase in the context of conversation. Maybe it didn't sound that bad. But, it reads pretty bad. Ok, really bad.

What better way to kick-off your Friday morning than images of Eddie Cheever's nephew treating his body like a jungle-gym. Sinner.

Thursday, March 20, 2008


Tony Stewart got his back waxed on his radio show. Pretty self-explanatory. Grundle next? Good God.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Champ Car refuges hit Sebring

Today was the first test for former Champ Car teams with their new IRL-mounts. Six newly appointed IRL drivers took to the Sebring short-course and logged a total of 276 laps.

Conveniently, the IRL-regulars happened to test Sebring about two-weeks ago, leaving the door wide open for silly comparisons and other premature conclusions to be drawn concerning any of the following:

  • The ability of ex-Champ Car teams to adapt to a new engine/chassis combo.
  • Which squad has employed a driver able to adapt quickly to a new car?
  • Which IRL team(s) posted slower lap times than Champ Car squads who have had less than a month to prep a full-blown IRL program?
  • How slow is Milka Duno, really?
  • Did Newman/Haas/Lanigan just skip the test to polish up their NCAA brackets?

Feel free to deduce your own answers to the above questions. Here are the official times:

Sebring Open Test - Round 1 -3/6/08 (combined results for Indy Car regulars)

Sebring Open Test - Round 2- 3/19/08 (Champ Car ex-pats)

For those too lazy to open both files for comparison (lets face it, I would be):

Will Power had the fastest time among the IRL newbies (52.9685; 113.501 mph). That would place him fifth among the regulars. Milka Duno was two-seconds slower than her nearest IRL colleague. (She did log a quicker time than Conquest's Enrique Bernoldi, but he only managed four laps today).

Ex-Champ Car teams get one more test day at Sebring, followed by two on the Homestead oval, then the season opener. Word on the street is Newman/Haas/Lanigan will make up for lost testing time by shaking their cars down at an SCCA autocross on the South Side of Chicago. Dude, your prepped 240Z is fucked.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Enrique Bernoldi? Huh. Sounds foreign

Conquest Racing has confirmed that former F1 shoe and occasional Champ Car tester Enrique Bernoldi will pilot one of the squads' Indy Car entries this season. For those not familiar with Bernoldi, he spent two uneventful years in a F1 race seat with the defunct Arrows squad (28 GP starts and nine finishes), spent time as an F1-tester, and was signed to race this season with Rocketsports in Champ Car.

Here is a glimpse into the early career of Bernoldi courtesy of F1DB:

1987 - Winner of kart championship in Curitiba
1988 - Eighth place in the Paulista Kart Championship, Brazil
1989 - Winner of the Paulista Kart Championship, Brazil
1990 - Winner of the Brazilian Kart Championship, winner of the Paulista Kart Championship, Brazil
1991 - Winner of the Brazilian Kart Championship
1992 - Third place in the Paulista Kart Championship, Brazil
1993 - Third place in the South American Kart Championship; Fourth place in the Pan-American Kart Championship
1995 - Fourth place in the Italian Formula Alfa-Boxer
1996 - Winner of European Formula Renault Championship, winning nine out of 11 races.
1997 - Fifth place in the British Formula 3 Championship with one race win. Third place in the Macau Grand Prix
1998 - Runner-up in British Formula 3 Championship, winning six of the 16 races. Runner-up at the Marlboro Masters Formula 3 race. Third place in the Macau Grand Prix.
1999 - Eighteenth place in the FIA F3000 Championship. Test Driver for the Sauber Formula One team.
2000 - Fifteenth place in the FIA F3000 Championship. Test Driver for the Sauber Formula One team.
2001 - Formula One with the Orange-Arrows team
2002 - Formula One with the Orange-Arrows team.

Bernoldi is probably best remembered for this bout with David Coulthard at Monaco in 2001.

*What? You can't understand what the commentators are saying? Well, I can*

Bernoldi will take his first laps in an Indy Car later this week at Sebring. The Brazilian has no experience racing on ovals.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Weekend recap:

-What you missed while lamenting your teams exclusion from the NCAA Tournament. (Hey, it takes a while to find a printable NIT bracket, you know?)

Porsche had a pretty solid weekend at the 12-Hours of Sebring, winning 2 of 4 classes and taking overall honors with the Penske-fielded entry of Dumas/Bernhard/Collard. In case you care… The much-hyped Peugeot broke early and struggled late.

Lewis Hamilton won the Australian GP in a fairly easy fashion.

Clint Bowyer won a rain-shortened Bristol Nationwide race.

RCR swept the top three at Bristol for Sunday’s Cup event. (Jeff Burton took the victory; if you watched the Fox-cast you know his wife was pleased and DW can’t speak in an audible manner).

NHRA pro divisions were in action at the Gator Nationals. Here are the results. The most noteworthy things to come from Sunday’s eliminations: Another Pedregon blew-up (Cruz, this time), and 90+ year-old Gary Densham made it to the finals in Funny Car. Good for him.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Youtube takes you in-car

As mentioned earlier, this St. Pats weekend has quite a bit of racing action for those of us content to watch TV all weekend (that is after the Horizon League basketball tournament has ended, of course. Go UW-Green Bay!). For the disappointed folks that cannot make it to any of the fine motoring events this weekend, enjoy some in-car footage from these venues:


Bristol: Mute your computer when you play this clip. The driver is a bit of a tool and his commentary lacks.


Thursday, March 13, 2008

Food City 500 Preview

Each week Ridebuyer delves deep into the misunderstood, oft terrifying, world of American saloon-car racing known as NASCAR. This week: Bristol.

Back to the roots of NASCAR

TV: Fox 1:30pm EST

Location: Bristol Motor Speedway (Bristol, TN)

Distance: 266 miles/500 laps

2007 Bristol winners: Kyle Busch (spring race); Carl Edwards (fall race).

*What to know:

Bristol is like a girl I knew in high school*. The track, like Jen, is short, fast, a bit country, and high as shit (Bristol’s banking is 36-degrees in the corners and Jen had an unquenchable thirst for Quaaludes). Bristol (like its sister city in CT-the home of a certain sports themed television network) is in the middle of fucking nowhere. The track is nestled deep in the backwoods and mountains of Tennessee. The track has seating for 165,000 people, or approximately two-thirds of the entire population of Tennessee, if I’m reading the latest census numbers correctly.
*we all know this is false. I knew no girls in high school, play along.
Campground parties are legendary at BMS, only the infield at Talladega can compete with the hill-folk debauchery that Bristol boasts. Campgrounds are littered around the periphery of the track and come readymade for canned beer, Confederate Flags, Skoal and Mardi Gras beads. Below is a previously-unpublished account of a race weekend Saturday evening inside a Bristol camping compound. Enjoy the glimpse into the eye of the beast.

Two people having sex can be a beautiful thing to watch. Erotic, mesmerizing, almost hypnotic, as bodies in fluid motion interact. What I was witnessing was neither beautiful, nor mesmerizing and certainly not erotic. My first trip to a car race; I had only been at the campground for an hour, maybe less, and this is what greeted me.

The man exemplified the Bristol-scene. Mid-fifties, graying hair, perfectly content with his exhibitionist ways. He was not sober, yet not sloppy drunk; his balance was clearly good as witnessed by the crowd that had gathered. The light from the campfire glistened off the silver handle of the man’s holster-affixed firearm. The holster was serving a duel-role, not only holding the gun, but supporting his gut. Aside from the holster, a pair of boots and a vintage Dick Trickle hat (turned backwards), the man was completely nude. He looked like John Daly in 11 years, only not dead.

The woman was bent over in front of the Trickle fan. She was far less cognizant-looking. Her Kasey Kahne tee-shirt was sized XL and played the roll of dress. Her elbows quivered as they supported her substantial weight. The hood of that F-150 would surely never be the same. The crowd of onlookers grew as night continued to fall. My first night at the track.

The account digresses from here, turning into a drug-fueled dialog about the pros and cons of two tires verses four. It ends with our narrator being crucified on the timing and scoring tower high above the infield.

Thunder Valley is not a place to be trifled with, yet it makes the perfect location for NASCAR to stage their first real Southern event of the season. This is old-time short track racing at its finest. A Saturday night shootout held on Sunday. The two races NASCAR runs at Bristol are the closest thing to the UFC this side of… well the UFC, I guess. Contact will be made and is necessary to make a pass stick. Entertainment ensues.

*Who to watch:

Kyle Busch: The points leader won this race last year (in the first outing for the CoT), and is coming off of a win last weekend in Atlanta. His average finish at Bristol is 13.5 and he has four career top-10 finishes in Thunder Valley. Toyota winning at a Bristol Cup race? “That sounds un-American,” you say. Well, I guess the terrorists won.

Jeff Gordon: The early season has been tough on Hendrick Motorsports and Gordon is reportedly taking this quite hard (at least until he looks at his wife, that is). This race could be the breakthrough the team needs. Gordon has won five times on the high-banks. That is five, like, one more than four. That is a lot.

Kurt Busch: How many wins does the elder Busch have at Bristol? See above (still not sure? It rhymes with sfive). Add nine top-10 finishes to that and consistent finishes this season, you get the picture.

*Dark Horse*

Ryan Newman: Consistent finishes this season and always fast at BMS. He only has one top-five finish, but that is why he is a “dark horse.” And yes, I do feel strange listing the Daytona 500 winner as a dark horse, but shut up.

*For those who wish to drink

Here is all of your tailgating information. Coolers are cool in the stands. I suggest Wild Turkey; since you are in the South, why not live large? And, as always, by tailgating (or camping in this case) at a NASCAR event, you continue to perpetrate all sorts of stereotypes.

*Series points to date:

Next race (in two weeks), Martinsville. More short tracks in the South... Ye haw? Here is a gratuitous Smokey and the Bandit montage to get you in the mood.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Ed. Desk

Quality racing weekends are few and far between, especially this early in the season. Since NASCAR deems it necessary to start their season in the middle of fucking winter, you essentially have a one-trick pony for the month following the Daytona 500. No choices. NASCAR-or-nothing.

This is commonly referred to as a rut, and the only most fanatical stockcar fans can take the doldrums and monotony of NASCAR-only weekends.

Maybe you can get through Friday night’s Truck Series race feeling good, (excluding the knowledge that you spent your Friday night watching a NASCAR event on TV) relaxed and optimistic about your chances of surviving a Dixie-Trifecta (that's sitting through a NASCAR Truck, Nationwide and Cup event in the same weekend, by the way).

But, alas, before lap-40 hits of Saturday’s Nationwide event, you start to black out and seize from an overexposure to America’s most popular spectator sport. You are forced to flee the couch and seek refuge. You go talk to your wife, or do the dishes, or attempt to file you tax return. You failed. It’s nothing to feel too bad about, better men than you or I have attempted this triple and died.

This weekend is different. You have motoring options, and damn good one at that. On your potential plate for this weekend are the following:

ALMS: The 12-Hours of Sebring (Speedtv)*
NHRA: The Gator Nationals (ESPN2)
F1: Australian GP (Speedtv)
NASCAR: Nationwide Series (ABC); Sprint Cup (Fox).

This racing weekend is like the time your wife went to happy-hour with her girlfriends from college and come home a bit tipsy. That night, instead of your normal weekend sex (you on top, her reading), something wildly wonderful and exciting happened. Something new, something different. Something that reminded you why you enjoyed sex in the first place and why you married the woman on top of you (you know, aside from the health insurance reasons).

Enjoy the racing. - Ed.

* This race in contingent on the track not being flooded with green beer from the spring break crowd who descend on Sebring like drunken, tit-flashing locusts. Believe it or not, Sebring security-folks actually discourage driving golf carts into the infield after dark. This is because they get commandeered and burned. No joke.
Sebring+Spring Break+St. Patrick's Day= I wish I was in Sebring.

Malcolm in the back

Ridebuyer's new favorite actor-turned racing driver Frankie Muniz turned in the 14th quickest time (of 20 cars) in the Atlantic Series' open test this week at Laguna Seca. Full results are here.
Muniz will run the entire Atlantic season with PCM, although their schedule is filled with question marks since the series was supposed to run jointly with Champ Car at events that have been cancelled since the IRL's coup of Champ Car. But regardless, wherever the Atlantic Series races, Muniz will be there.

Muniz joins the illustrious list of Hollywood talent to venture into the world of professional racing. Here is the Ridebuyer-abridged list of actors who have all turned a wheel in anger.

"A-List" celebrities who have donned the helmet include: James Dean, James Garner, Paul Newman and perhaps most famously Steve McQueen.

"B-Listers" include: Patrick Dempsey, Jason Priestley and Craig T. Nelson (Dauber was occasionally his tire-changer).

"C-Listers" include: our man Frankie, Lorenzo Lamas (for those glorious two-months when he ran S2000), and Danny Bonaduce*

*To Ridebuyer's knowledge he has never driven a racing car, nor shown any interest, but we will include him regardless.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Walker Racing closes doors; promptly reopens them

News of Walker Racing's ultimate demise appear to be both premature and exaggerated.

Despite a rash of reports claiming the team has completely shelved plans to run in the unified-IRL, Walker has responded with this release on his team's website. For those not interested in following the jump, or if you have a general aversion to comprehension-reading here is a telling excerpt:

So we are not out of racing by any means. There is a huge mountain to climb, but if I can get the job done in time we will be there at Homestead.

Walker also says his Atlantic program will go on as planned. The team is currently testing at Laguna Seca with the fabulous-Mansell Brothers.

Ridebuyer will start the rumor-mill: Walker Racing to run Nigel Mansell in a one-off at Indy. You heard it here first (and last).

Monday, March 10, 2008

Stewart... More of a Michelin guy?

As it turns out, Tony Stewart doesn't think too highly of the Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company. After Sunday's Atlanta race he let this tirade rip:

It's safe to say Smoke will not be getting an invite to ride in the blimp anytime soon. Also, what's the deal with Fox's Matt Yocum and the odd non-response? He is either really caught off guard, or just plain refuses to acknowledge Stewart's lashing. God only knows what Smoke would have done if he finished outside the top-three.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Kobalt Tools 500 preview

Each week Ridebuyer delves deep into the misunderstood, oft terrifying, world of American saloon-car racing known as NASCAR. This week: Atlanta.

Peace up, A-Town down.

TV: Fox 1:30pm EST
Location: Atlanta Motor Speedway (Atlanta, GA)
Distance: 500 miles/334 laps
2007 Atlanta winners: J. Johnson (both spring and fall races)

*What to know:

NASCAR is a southern sport, make no mistake. Its roots are firmly planted below the Mason-Dixon. Now, the series is stretching outward like a plague of southern pride. No market is safe. Hollywood, been there. Vegas, you bet. Expeditions into the north and west are now commonplace in the series. Progress some would say. A shift in demographics. This is a stark contrast to the world of Confederate flags, canned beer and no blacks that represented the status quo of the series’ younger years. NASCAR was founded by guys named Junior, Fireball and Tiny. They were moonshiners at heart and rednecks to the end. The idea (held by many) that NASCAR remains a last-ditch hold out for rebels, children of the soil and river rats is laughable by those who have seen the sport change. NASCAR is just as mainstream as the MLB, NBA and NFL. People who know their acronyms know this. It’s not a good thing, yet not really bad either. To put it into locker room speak for the stick and ball guys, it is what it is. But, what is the point?

Well, impatient asshole, the NASCAR circus pulls into Atlanta this weekend, for the season’s first foray into the south. *Note for the geography majors, Daytona is south. Ah, but Florida is… well it’s Florida. Not the South. Just south.* So, it looks like after three races NASCAR is back home, right? In their fertile crescent? Back home again.... in Dixie etc. Sorry to disappoint, but Atlanta is not the capital-letter “S” South we are looking for. Nope, Atlanta is in the Dirty South, and for those out of the loop, the Dirty South is an entirely different beast. This is T.I. country. What is T.I. country? A brief video can illistrate:

When NASCAR hits the hip-hop scene, one of two things will likely happen.

A) Both sects (racers and gangsters) will largely remain separate. An unwritten rule of segregation will be strictly enforced by both parties. Make no mistake; the hip-hop crowd is much more frightened of the NASCAR hoard than vice versa. With bloody good reason. NASCAR-folks represent an unknown, the likes of which hip-hop has never seen. Who are these sick people? They will ask. Why do they invade? And for fucks sake, what do they want? Prey they stay apart, for if a few random NASCAR fans wonder off the beaten path and stumble into a hip-hop communal… Well, an instantaneous tear in the space/time continuum is both possible and likely probable.


B) Both sects make a concerted effort to make contact and to rumble. Samuel Huntington will be right, and we (as Americans) will be up shit creek sans paddle. Blood will spill and heads will roll. In this scenario, the stockcar-types are at distinct disadvantage. Aside from the rap-crowd being on their home turf, the NASCAR-boys cannot be expected to compete with the highly organized, gang-infused tactics that will be deployed upon them. Should this happen NASCAR will be unable to reverse the damage (in loss of life) done to their sport. It will be game-over, judgment day and the apocalypse all wrapped into one. Christmas morning for the rejected.

Should neither of the above scenarios come to fruition…Well, a race may take place on Sunday (not likely). Keep the following in mind:

*Who to watch:

Jimmie Johnson: Dismal finishes this year (minus the second in Hollywood), has the two-time champ hungry for a win. Hendrick is awesome on fast 1.5 mile tracks, and Johnson swept both races in Atlanta last season, and hasn’t finished outside of the top-10 at the track (in cup races) since 2005. To call him the favorite is an understatement.

Carl Edwards: Two straight wins for Edwards has his Roush-Fenway team riding high. He has only one cup finish outside of the top-10 at this track. His only momentum boff-up is the fact his crew-chief has been suspended for the next six races for Edwards’ car failing post-race tech in Vegas. Whoops.

Dale Earnhardt Jr: The guys loves fast tracks, and Atlanta is the fastest of them all. His 12.2 average finishing-position at this track is respectable and he is a past winner of the event (2004). He says his Daddy loved to race on this track, and he is hungry for his first points win with Hendrick.

For the fans braving a clash of civilizations and heading to the track:

Here is all your tailgating information. Just to let you know, by tailgating in a parking lot at a NASCAR event, you are still perpetuating all sorts of stereotypes. The Atlanta Motor Speedway is lax on the whole drinking thing, so fill up your cooler, hit the infield and enjoy.

Series Points to date:
Kyle Busch
Ryan Newman
Kasey Kahne
Kevin Harvick
Greg Biffle
Jeff Burton
Carl Edwards
Martin Truex Jr.
Elliott Sadler
Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Tony Stewart
Kurt Busch

Next Race, Bristol... Where this sort of thing happens.

Now that’s in the South.

Robby Gordon appeal successful, team still hosed

When NASCAR issues a penalty, their decree could be scribed in stone. The chance of a team being able to successfully appeal a NASCAR penalty is almost non-existent. It just does not happen. Robby Gordon knows this all too well. His list of past NASCAR-ruled indiscretions is long and distinguished (Daytona 2005, New Hampshire 2005, Montreal 2007, et al). His most recent clash with the NASCAR-rule gestapo took place after a practice session for the Daytona 500. A tech inspection found an non-approved bumper cover on Gordon's car. The penalties were stiff:

  1. Loss of 100 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Championship Car Owner Points for car owner Robby Gordon.

  2. Loss of 100 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Championship Driver Points for driver Robby Gordon.

  3. $100,000.00 fine; suspension from NASCAR for the next six (6) NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Championship Events; suspension from NASCAR until April 9, 2008, and probation until December 31, 2008 for crew chief, Frank Kerr.

This all seemed well and good, until Gordon appealed, citing the fact that the bumper cover in question came right from the manufacturer and its use on Gordon's car amounted to nothing more than a clerical error by the manufacturer. Jim Beam stood behind Gordon, like any good liqour company would.

Well, the appeal decision came down yesterday and NASCAR caved. Sort of. Unwilling to admit fault, the National Stock Car Racing Commission gave Gordon his points back and reversed the suspension of crew chief Frank Kerr. However, the fine was upped from $100,000 to $150,000. Think about this for minute... It is like buying a hooker, screwing her in the back seat of your El Camino, punching her in the throat, apologizing, then making her buy dinner (for those not down with metaphor/hypothetical scenarios, Gordon's team is the hooker). Here is Gordon's response to the penalty pseudo-repeal.

Right on, Robby. We'll call it a victory too. Maybe.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

The genius that is Panther Racing's Q and A...Part II

And the hits keep coming... Yesterday, Panther Racing laid claim to another big time NASCAR star.

Q. Kevin Harvick was recently quoted as being interested in racing an IndyCar. The NASCAR team he and his wife own is sponsored by Camping World, a sponsor you are familiar with. There is no NASCAR race that weekend. How about seeing if he would be interested in running the Glen?

A. (3-4-08) Kevin Harvick has been closer to making a start in the IndyCar Series than most fans will ever realize. I mean real close. Harvick isn't joking when he says he's interested in driving in our series, and it's probably only a matter of time before it happens. It might not happen in Watkins Glen 2008, but you've outlined the type of scenario it would take to make it happen. Let's just hope he doesn't have a conflict this time.

We honestly don't know whether to classify these as truth, pipe dreams or downright fabrications, but they are awesome in their ridiculousness. We will continue to print them until otherwise.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Allmendinger, rideless.

A.J. is out, and wants to spoon with Mike Skinner (can you blame him?).

Responding to news that he will be parked by Red Bull Racing in favor of stockcar-vet and good ole' boy Mike Skinner starting this weekend in Atlanta, Allmendinger expressed remorse, then showed his undying man-love for Skinner:

“Let’s not kid ourselves; I’m a racer and I want to be racing, but I get the big picture here and obviously we need to improve our program. Do I want to be out of the car? No. But, I know Skinner can help both me and my team. All I can say is he better be prepared for me to eat, drink, and sleep with him."

There is no timeline for Allmendinger's return to the seat. Quite frankly we don't care. This was clearly just an excuse to show another awesome A.J. with a fade picture. Damn it, Allmendinger, bring it back!

Monday, March 3, 2008

The genius that is Panther Racing's Q and A

In the span of one Q and A session (2-28-08) on the following gems were tossed out for consumption:

-In no particular order of preposterousness-

The team has a standing offer to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for him to run a car in the Indy 500.

If you don't like the coverage (or lack thereof) the team gets in the local media, feel free to email the Indy Star's Curt Cavin @ to voice complaints.

And finally, in response to the obligatory Paul Tracy is now available question: "you never know what could happen."

February 28th kind of covered a lot of bases.

Allmendinger, rideless?

Let the "A.J. Allmendinger makes a triumphant return to a unified open wheel series" rumors begin. According to a sentence in the Indy Star, Allmendinger could be parked by Red Bull Racing after going 0-fer in making the first three Sprint Cup events of the year. Maybe A.J. should try to hook up with his former karting boss Paul Tracy to start their own IRL program. But only if A.J. brings back his fade-cut.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Varsha gets lost

Don't get us wrong here, Ridebuyer loves Bob Varsha. His F1 play-by-play is truly something to behold. His motorsports knowledge is vast and his enthusiasm for the sport shows through. Which is why this clip is all the more awesome. Things start to go wrong for Varshy at the 1:03 mark.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Bourdais states the obvious; Andretti calls Tracy old

American open-wheel ex-pat Sebastien Bourdais points out that the transition for former Champ Car teams to the newly merged IRL Indy Car series will be difficult.

“We had all been waiting for it for a long time, but obviously didn’t expect it 30 days before the start of a season,” he declared. “It’s not a merger, it’s the death of Champ Car and the IRL taking over—the schedules, cars, everything. It’s the cars (the IRL teams) have been running around with for five years, so what are the Champ Car teams going to be able to do? Nothing.
“They had no time to prepare over the winter, because the winter is over. It’s a disaster for Champ Car teams, obviously.”

Stop the presses, Sebastien. You mean this was not the most equitable of deals for Champ Car teams? That is like saying Scuderia Toro Rosso will not be the class of F1 this year.


Michael Andretti manages to toss a few barbs at former-rival (and now ride less, Paul Tracy). Upon hearing the news that Tracy's Champ Car ride has hit the bricks, Andretti says he knew it all along:

"I wasn't surprised," Andretti said. "I assumed that (Forsythe not
fielding an IRL team) was going to happen. It was just a gut feel. He's a proud man. There has to be a reason he was doing the things he was doing (in Champ Car), and I just didn't see him caving in to come over here."

Andretti also quickly discarded the thought that Tracy may windup in a race seat with Andretti-Green.

"Paul is great and all, but he doesn't have any experience in these cars and he's getting a little old," Andretti said."We're looking at 19- and 20-year olds, and he's almost 40..."

Andretti twists the knife one last time by saying Tracy would be a great fit with Tony George's habitually mediocre Vision Racing. Wherever Tracy winds up, he will be in the IRL this season, and will be waiting for Andretti in the parking lot after the Homestead race. Ding...round one.