Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Ed. Desk

Quality racing weekends are few and far between, especially this early in the season. Since NASCAR deems it necessary to start their season in the middle of fucking winter, you essentially have a one-trick pony for the month following the Daytona 500. No choices. NASCAR-or-nothing.

This is commonly referred to as a rut, and the only most fanatical stockcar fans can take the doldrums and monotony of NASCAR-only weekends.

Maybe you can get through Friday night’s Truck Series race feeling good, (excluding the knowledge that you spent your Friday night watching a NASCAR event on TV) relaxed and optimistic about your chances of surviving a Dixie-Trifecta (that's sitting through a NASCAR Truck, Nationwide and Cup event in the same weekend, by the way).

But, alas, before lap-40 hits of Saturday’s Nationwide event, you start to black out and seize from an overexposure to America’s most popular spectator sport. You are forced to flee the couch and seek refuge. You go talk to your wife, or do the dishes, or attempt to file you tax return. You failed. It’s nothing to feel too bad about, better men than you or I have attempted this triple and died.

This weekend is different. You have motoring options, and damn good one at that. On your potential plate for this weekend are the following:

ALMS: The 12-Hours of Sebring (Speedtv)*
NHRA: The Gator Nationals (ESPN2)
F1: Australian GP (Speedtv)
NASCAR: Nationwide Series (ABC); Sprint Cup (Fox).

This racing weekend is like the time your wife went to happy-hour with her girlfriends from college and come home a bit tipsy. That night, instead of your normal weekend sex (you on top, her reading), something wildly wonderful and exciting happened. Something new, something different. Something that reminded you why you enjoyed sex in the first place and why you married the woman on top of you (you know, aside from the health insurance reasons).

Enjoy the racing. - Ed.

* This race in contingent on the track not being flooded with green beer from the spring break crowd who descend on Sebring like drunken, tit-flashing locusts. Believe it or not, Sebring security-folks actually discourage driving golf carts into the infield after dark. This is because they get commandeered and burned. No joke.
Sebring+Spring Break+St. Patrick's Day= I wish I was in Sebring.

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