Back to the roots of NASCAR
*What to know:
Bristol is like a girl I knew in high school*. The track, like Jen, is short, fast, a bit country, and high as shit (Bristol’s banking is 36-degrees in the corners and Jen had an unquenchable thirst for Quaaludes). Bristol (like its sister city in CT-the home of a certain sports themed television network) is in the middle of fucking nowhere. The track is nestled deep in the backwoods and mountains of Tennessee. The track has seating for 165,000 people, or approximately two-thirds of the entire population of Tennessee, if I’m reading the latest census numbers correctly.
*we all know this is false. I knew no girls in high school, play along.
Two people having sex can be a beautiful thing to watch. Erotic, mesmerizing, almost hypnotic, as bodies in fluid motion interact. What I was witnessing was neither beautiful, nor mesmerizing and certainly not erotic. My first trip to a car race; I had only been at the campground for an hour, maybe less, and this is what greeted me.
Thunder Valley is not a place to be trifled with, yet it makes the perfect location for NASCAR to stage their first real Southern event of the season. This is old-time short track racing at its finest. A Saturday night shootout held on Sunday. The two races NASCAR runs at Bristol are the closest thing to the UFC this side of… well the UFC, I guess. Contact will be made and is necessary to make a pass stick. Entertainment ensues.
*Who to watch:
Jeff Gordon: The early season has been tough on Hendrick Motorsports and Gordon is reportedly taking this quite hard (at least until he looks at his wife, that is). This race could be the breakthrough the team needs. Gordon has won five times on the high-banks. That is five, like, one more than four. That is a lot.
Kurt Busch: How many wins does the elder Busch have at Bristol? See above (still not sure? It rhymes with sfive). Add nine top-10 finishes to that and consistent finishes this season, you get the picture.
Ryan Newman: Consistent finishes this season and always fast at BMS. He only has one top-five finish, but that is why he is a “dark horse.” And yes, I do feel strange listing the Daytona 500 winner as a dark horse, but shut up.
*For those who wish to drink
Here is all of your tailgating information. Coolers are cool in the stands. I suggest Wild Turkey; since you are in the South, why not live large? And, as always, by tailgating (or camping in this case) at a NASCAR event, you continue to perpetrate all sorts of stereotypes.
*Series points to date:
Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Martin Truex Jr.