Thursday, July 31, 2008

Schumacher wrecks minivan into garage door

F1-God Michael Schumacher reportedly wadded up a van while in route to Lydd airport in Kent. Autocar says the seven-time champ "collided with a garage door while overtaking another car. Martin Kingham was shutting the door at the time, and was thrown onto the bonnet of a nearby vehicle by the impact." Police then arrived, administered a Schuey-breath test (it was negative) and sent the champ on his way. Reports say the guy who got tossed was not hurt.

This confirms our long held belief that when racing drivers retire, they slowly devolve into Billy Joel. Sound of rim shot.

Schuey has a shunt in the UK

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Give Paul Tracy your paycheck

In honor of it being the 30th of the month (we hear some people get a regular paycheck around this time), RB'er wants to help you spend your newly acquired cash. Instead of blowing your roll on the usual necessities of gasoline, hookers and Tops baseball cards, we recommend cutting Paul Tracy a check (or is that cheque?) to get him into the IndyCar Series for the duration of the season.

This process has become easy as a grassroots effort to sponsor the "Thrill from Westhill" in an Indy Car ride has been launched. The movement has thus far raised $135 and is just $124,865 short of their $150k goal.

To show our support, the revenue generated by our Google Ads for this week will go to help the cause. We netted a cool $.13 last week. You're welcome, PT.

The $10K push

Tony Stewart has been fined $10,000 for his actions at a USAC midget race at O’Reilly Raceway Park last week. Those "actions" included knocking an officials' radio to the ground and pushing another USAC employee. See the video. In addition to the fine, Tony Stewart Racing has been placed on probation for the rest of the 2008 USAC season.

The "push heard 'round Indy" happened when Smoke's driver, Tracy Hines, pitted for a tire change, but his car was deemed not ready to re-enter the race of the restart. This angered Stewart. Greatly.

USAC officials fine Stewart for altercation

BMW Sauber mechanic jolted by KERS

Last week during testing at Jerez, a wrench spinner for BWM Sauber was thrown to the ground by an apparent electrical shock caused by a malfunctioning KERS setup. Video of the incident has now emerged, and if you like to watch painful looking things and men flying through the air, it will be right up your alley.

Fear not, the mechanic is out of the hospital.

Moss my Johnson

Two-time Sprint Cup champ Jimmie Johnson is joining forces with the newly-formed Moss Motorsports squad of Randy Moss. Johnson will compete in the Craftsman Truck Series event in the No. 81 Chevy at Bristol on Aug. 20th. Johnson has never won an event at Bristol Motor Speedway and has never competed in the Truck Series. Moss has never won a Super Bowl and has never seen the significance of the Marshall University plane crash. Sounds like a good pairing to us.

Johnson to drive in Truck race for receiver Moss' team

Monday, July 28, 2008

Hey, we were out last week

So, we were on vaca last week and missed the opportunity for a timely post regarding the whole Danica v. Duno Mid-Ohio thing. If timely posts are good, than not-timely posts must be better! Right? Enjoy the ESPNEWS clip of the confrontation (make special note of the racially insensitive impersonation at 1:27. God bless you Mike Hill).

We like how the quasi-cat fight was shown before the race highlights. Oh, and Milka Duno sounds like a retarded sheep when speaking.

Weekend recap

What you missed while pre-gaming Shark Week.

The Brickyard 400 was a joke. It resembled a series of Mickey Mouse 10-lap sprint races because Goodyear can't build a proper racing tire. Tony Stewart was right all along. Jimmie Johnson won the race. We feel sorry for any fan in attendance who had to pay money to view that race. They deserve refunds. Period.

NASCAR needs to step up to prevent future debacles

The IndyCar Series braved the frozen tundra and 15 meter snow drifts of Canada to compete in Edmonton. Scott Dixon won the race (fifth of year) and solidified his points lead with four races to go. Paul Tracy made the best of his one-off to finish p4. Justin Wilson has his best showing of the year, tallying a p3.

Dixon holds edge at Edmonton, bags fifth IRL triumph

NHRA's "Western Swing" ended on Sunday, with Tony Schumacher sweeping the west-of-the-Rockies Top Fuel competitions. The Sarge has locked up the #1 spot in the Countdown standings and technically does not need to race until after the U.S. Nationals when the Countdown begins. We're thinking he'll race. Other pro winners include Robert Hight (FC), Dave Connolly (PSC) and Matt Guidera (PSB).

Schumacher sweeps Western Swing; Hight, Connolly, Guidera also get wins

The Nationwide Series was at Indianapolis Raceway Park. Kyle Busch proved that despite restrictions in horsepower, Toyota is still the class of the field. Busch posted Toyota’s 15th win of 2008, with 14 coming from Joe Gibbs Racing. Colin Braun sat on the pole and finished a career best p2. Cheers to the ex- Grand Am'er.

NATIONWIDE: Busch Proves Toyota Still Has Strength

Welcome back

There was a distinct lack of timely posts and no NASCAR preview last week. Our seven people readership was both shocked and appalled by this absence. Rest assured, there was a good reason for the easy week. The entire (ahem) RBer staff (ahem, ahem) was on vacation. We found our time away from the motorsporting world invigorating and rejuvenating. We even had a moment of clarity while sitting beachside pounding Coors Light at near heroic rates:

SPF 30 does little to shield intense sun rays from an Irish-American gut.

Truly words to live by.

Let's have a phenomenal race week.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Stewart can get rather agitated

Tony Stewart had a pretty eventful weekend in Indy. Aside from competing in Sunday's Brickyard, Smoke announced the sponsors and number for next season's Stewart-Haas Racing entry (Home Depot, Old Spice, #14), he also made time to pitch a fit at a USAC-race and push an official. WTHR has obtained video of the incident. Fine forthcoming.

Check it out.

Tony Stewart USAC Shoving Video Emerges

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Not just for bad drivers and douches, part four

Our week long look into the glory that is the BMW Film series continues...

In this installment of the BMW film theater:Kar Wai Wong's "The Follow":


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Not just for bad drivers and douches, part three

Back near the turn of the millennium, BMW decided that marketing automobiles needed to become more viral (though that term had yet to be invented by the wankers over at Google). Their idea involved employing big-deal directors, producers and actors to make short films that give the appearance that Bimmers were interesting.

Thus was born the BMW film series.

The plots were simple enough: put Clive Owen inside a Bavarian Motor Works product, add some sex appeal and a healthy dose of smoke-filled burnouts, and you'll sell the shit out of young-exec market. Of course, it helped when the final productions were certifiably bitchin'. With that in mind, we shall take our Don Draper ad-guy hat off, and let the pictures speak for themselves.

In this installment of the BMW film theater:

Ang Lee's "Chosen"

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Better know an A.J. Foyt

Let us face facts... Most of the stuff you read on these here "internets" is pretty much garbage. Whether the topic is motor racing, stick-and-ball sports, general news, etc., chances are, you just read something that sucked. Even this site is not excluded from the previous sentence (NASCAR previews? Come on).

With that in mind, Ridebuyer wants to roll back the clock and take you to a simpler time. A time when the world was a little less scary and the internet had yet to turn into a cesspool of gratuitous potshots and mean spirited abuse. The following is the latest installment in RB'ers "Shit Worth Reading" serial.

Today, one of the last remaining members of motor racing's old guard is profiled. This 1991 SI- article chronicles Anthony Joseph Foyt, Jr. and centers around Super Tex's relationship with his father. (Don't worry, it's not a gay sap piece.) Here's a sample:

For years Foyt has been the most intimidating presence in motor racing, and there are few drivers out there who have not felt at least a gust of his passing heat. In 1982, in his rookie year at Indy, Bobby Rahal was coming out of a turn with Foyt right behind him. "I didn't cut him off," says Rahal , "but I think he expected me to move out of his way, and I didn't. And he shook his fist at me as he went by. But, you know, you're nobody unless you've had a fist shaken at you by A.J. Foyt ."

Complete text:

It's a bit lengthy, but give it a click. (If you don't... A.J. will club you with torque wrench.)

Not just for bad drivers and douches, part two

Back near the turn of the millennium, BMW decided that marketing automobiles needed to become more viral (though that term had yet to be invented by the wankers over at Google). Their idea involved employing big-deal directors, producers and actors to make short films that give the appearance that Bimmers were interesting.

Thus was born the BMW film series.

The plots were simple enough: put Clive Owen inside a Bavarian Motor Works product, add some sex appeal and a healthy dose of smoke-filled burnouts, and you'll sell the shit out of young-exec market. Of course, it helped when the final productions were certifiably bitchin'. With that in mind, we shall take our Don Draper ad-guy hat off, and let the pictures speak for themselves.

In this installment of the BMW film theater:

Enjoy the late John Frankenheimer's "Ambush."

Monday, July 21, 2008

Not just for bad drivers and douches

Back near the turn of the millennium, BMW decided that marketing automobiles needed to become more viral (though that term had yet to be invented by the wankers over at Google). Their idea involved employing big-deal directors, producers and actors to make short films that give the appearance that Bimmers were interesting.

Thus was born the BMW film series.

The plots were simple enough: put Clive Owen inside a Bavarian Motor Works product, add some sex appeal and a healthy dose of smoke-filled burnouts, and you'll sell the shit out of young-exec market. Of course, it helped when the final productions were certifiably bitchin'. With that in mind, we shall take our Don Draper ad-guy hat off, and let the pictures speak for themselves.

In this installment of the BMW film theater:

Enjoy Guy Ritchie's "Star."

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Townsend Bell has interior design issues

Townsend Bell has made his living driving all sorts of open wheeled vehicles. He is a true journeyman in the sport who has never gotten the quality of ride his abilities should have guaranteed. Bell is running a partial schedule this year with D&R Racing in the IndyCar Series and has his next outing penciled-in for Edmonton on July 26th.

Aside from not having a regular ride, Bell has to deal with living in poverty. Apparently a part- time IndyCar deal doesn't provide the liquid assets needed to furnish a rental property. Check out Bell's pad on this MTV Cribs ripoff.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Big Al ready for big court date

Here is a little personality test of sorts:

If police had cornered a potentially dangerous carjacking suspect in close proximity to your position, would you:

(a) get as far from that place as possible and let the police do their thing.


(b) drive around the police barricade, causing you to get rushed to the ground by the cops and otherwise roughed-up.

If you went with option 'a,' you are like most even-mannered Americans we know. You drive a Honda, have a dog and play golf. If you went with option 'b,' you are likely an Unser brother.

Back in 2006, both Al and Bobby Unser were arrested by the Bernalillo County Sheriff's Department for resisting arrest and disobeying police orders. The case against Bobby was dropped and Al was acquitted of the charges. Turns out the police had roadblocked a passage to the Unser's property and both men were on their own land as the arrests (and rough-ups) were made.

Now Big Al is fighting back. He has filed his own suit against the arresting officers claiming excessive force among other charges.

Fight the system, damn the man, Al.

Former Indy 500 winner files suit over arrest

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Sportscar racing is good.

The final laps of the ALMS event from Lime Rock Park were really entertaining. We found this out today. We could not watch the race live as Comcast Cable does not offer Speedtv in our area and our landlord-who is a cocksucker-doesn't allow satellite dishes mounted on our building. No, we had to watch the highlights and it's a good thing we did. If anyone else missed the action, enjoy the David Brabham and Timo Bernhard scrap:

Big cheers to for bringing back the embed feature on their video. Why else have video if it can't be swiped for the gain of others?

Monday, July 14, 2008

Weekend recap

What you missed while Reggie Jackson was making fun of Jews, Jose Canseco was getting knocked the fuck out, and Billy Packer was getting fired.

-The NASCAR Nationwide and Sprint Cup series were in Chicago for motoring-related contests. Kyle Busch won both events. That makes win number seven for Busch in the Cup series. That makes win number five for Busch in the Nationwide series. That makes 13 wins for Joe Gibbs Racing in N'wide competition. Fairly impressive.

Rowdy does it again

Kyle Busch helps Gibbs match N'wide record

- The IRL IndyCar Series' was in Nashville (unsuccessfully) dodging rain showers. There was not much in the way of passing during the abbreviated event. 171-laps (out of a scheduled 200) were completed and Scott Dixon was declared the winner. Chalk it up to good luck as the call went out for Dixon to pit with the rest of the field at lap-148, he didn't get that information, stayed out and won when the rain came. Wheldon, Castroneves, Kanaan and Patrick rounded out the top-five. Cheers to Buddy Rice for posting a p7.

INDYCAR: Dixon an Accidental Winner at Nashville

-The NHRA started the "Western Swing" with Sunday's eliminations from Denver. This was the first event where nitro cars raced to 1000-feet verses 1320-feet. Pro winners were Tony Schumacher (TF), Tim Wilkerson (FC), Greg Anderson (PSC) and Matt Smith (SCB).

'Shoe,' 'Wilk,' Anderson, and Smith are triumphant at historic Mile-High Nats

-The ALMS took to Lime Rock Park where a late race pass by David Brabham secured the first overall victory for Acura in ALMS competition. It was an added bonus for Patrón Highcroft Racing as their shop is less than a hour from LRP. Corvette Racing's Johnny O'Connell and Jan Magnussen won in GT1 Wolf Henzler and Jörg Bergmeister took their second straight GT2 victory.

Lime Rock: Acura Scores First Ever Overall Victory

Friday, July 11, 2008 400 preview

Each week Ridebuyer delves deep into the misunderstood, oft terrifying, world of American saloon-car racing known as NASCAR.

This week: The 400
TV: TNT 6:30pm EST (Saturday)
Location: Chicagoland Speedway (Joliet, IL)
Distance: 400 miles/267 laps
2007 winner: T. Stewart

*Pretentious Chicagoans, Tony Stewart is your boss, and how to avoid stabbings*

Next season, Tony Stewart will own a Sprint Cup team and have paid exactly $o for it. Such was the nature of his deal with the now-named Haas-CNC Racing. Stewart gets a 50% share in the team, not in exchange for cash, just his ability to win, find sponsors and turn a crap team into something competitive. If that deal sounds pretty sweet, that's because it is. This is almost certainly the first deal of its kind in NASCAR, and possibly in all of motor racing. This deal blew many people away (J.D. and Joe Gibbs to start with) and for good reason. The concept of a deal like this transpiring never crossed our minds. Giving someone team ownership for nothing more than showing up (or signing up in this case) is a bogus quid pro quo of epic proportions. That said, all the best to Stewart and the new Haas team next season. They are joining the Stewart-racing empire which already features tracks and various open-wheel teams. We expect Smoke to make an offer on our site soon. It will ridiculously low, we'll still accept it, but intend to bitch at the figure like a New Jersey woman disputing a credit card charge.

Why is Chicagoland Speedway the new place to announce blockbuster driver-moves?

In '06 Juan Montoya said goodbye to F1 in Joliet. Coincidence? Probably.

We've never been to Chicagoland Speedway, heard it's nice, but never ventured to the track or southwest Chi-Town area. But, we have been to Chicago and there are certain things to know about the town before diving headfirst into the third largest city in the union. It's safe to say many fans will be staying closer to the city than the track, and could want to "sight see" about when not at the circuit. Bad idea. Buy a Chicago-style hot dog at the track and be content. Don't try to go to Wrigley Field. Under any circumstances. Bleacher seats are like $60, beer is $10 and they sell out day-games on Wednesday afternoons. Clearly nobody living on the Northside is employed. It's a fucking Wednesday, don't you'll have someplace to be? Kosuke Fukudome is a bitch and doesn't deserve to be on the All-Star team, yet alone a starter. Fuck the Cubs. Fuck the Northside. Fuck Harry Caray. (Okay, don't fuck Harry Caray. That guy was great. Fuck Steve Stone instead.) How about fitting in a White Sox game? Worse idea. There's a 50/50 chance of getting knifed by a Puerto Rician just by venturing to the Southside. If you go to a game, that percentage increases exponentially as Ozzie Guillen slices all. All. Everybody.
Sometimes people living in big cities get envious of other big cities. Example, everyone living in a city with a population of over 1 million thinks that city is New York City. Re: Chicago. The only place that has the right to be pretentious is NYC. We don't care if Oprah tapes her dikey show from your town. You're not cool. Don't act like your city doesn't smell like Kathy Bates' FUPA, or your subway system isn't confusing as shit, or your bars are not filled with collar- popped braskies. Don't pretend. Your sports teams are lame, your newspapers suck and you are just like every other big city in the country. Sans New York, that is.

*What to know:

1 1/2 miles of cookie-cutter awesomeness: There have been more 1 1/2 mile ovals built in the last decade than visitors who have visited our site. That's right, about seven such tracks have been built. That's quite a lot for an already saturated market of Cup-ready tracks. Chicago, Atlanta, Charlotte, Texas, Las Vegas and Kansas are all similar in their layout and design. Team's have these tracks figured out. They know how to get around them and what changing conditions can do to the circuit. Racing at night is the only potential x-factor for this event, but again, squads are so familiar with these intermediate tracks there should be little issue. Expect longer green flag runs which are conducive to the dreaded "fuel mileage race." You've been warned. The fewest number of caution periods during this race? Seven. Maybe fuel wont be an issue.

He makes it rain. Occasionally: Wet weather knocked qualifying off of the table for Saturday night's race. That puts points-leader Kyle Busch on the pole. With owner points determining starting positions, no heavy hitters will be forced to work through the pack because of a shit qualifying run. That points to the perennial favorites to be, well, favorites on Saturday. The inverse of this is that some fast cars will have start tail as their team's are not high in the point standings. So, perennially fast cars will start in the front, sometime-contenders who are fast this weekend will be in the back, and slow cars will be mixed throughout. Sounds like a potential cluster fuck to us.

*Who to watch:

Carl Edwards: "Hot" Carl has been just that of late, hot. He will start from outside of row two on Saturday night and will be the best chance for the Ford bunch to swipe a victory. While he has not run particularity great at Chicagoland in the past, (one top-five and an average finish of 20.7) his Roush-Fenway team is historically strong on intermediate tracks. "Hot" Carl is the best bet to defeat the Toyota-freight train.

Tony Stewart:
NASCAR races tend to produce seemingly unbelievable outcomes at unbelievable times. Some people cry shenanigans when such races transpire, other turn a blind eye and chalk it up to coincidence. (More on manipulating races.) If Tony Stewart wins his first race of the season just days after announcing his Joe Gibbs Racing exodus, well, let's just say that would make for a good storyline. NASCAR loves good stories. Oh, Stewart is also really good (two wins and five top-tens) at Chicagoland.

Kyle Busch & Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Both drivers will share the front row and have have posted wins in Joliet. (Earnhardt in 2005, Busch Friday night in the Nationwide race.) Everything Kyle Busch has touched this season is now gold, while Earnhardt sits second in the points, lacking the number of wins (just one) to challenge Busch for the top spot. This will be the battle to watch on Saturday, One v. Two; Chevy v. Toyota; America's hero v. America's bitch. It should be entertaining. FYI, current odds to win: Busch 5/1; Earnhardt 6/1. Vegas Insider.

*Dark Horse:

Casey Mears: The Hendrick-driver is already out of his seat for next year. Maybe he has something to prove, maybe he wants to leave on a high note. Maybe not. He has one career top-five at Chicagoland and starts from deep in the pack. Here's a stat to chew on, no driver starting inside the top-five has ever won this race. For that, Mears gets to ride to horse.

*For those heading to the track:

Pertinent tailgating information is here. No coolers of any size are allowed into the track. Gay. Drink in the parking lots. The official Ridebuyer cocktail of the race is the "Manhattan." You should know already know how to make one, but if not:
  • 3 parts whiskey
  • 1 part Sweet Vermouth
Yeah, it's pretty simple.

*Series' points:


Next race: Allstate 400 at The Brickyard (Indianapolis Motor Speedway).Wait, so this is different than the Indy 500, right?

Johnny O’Connell struggles with incontinence

Some drivers are pissers and some are not. This is a paraphrased observation from Tony Stewart's book concerning drivers who relieve themselves whilst in the cockpit. Tony Stewart is a pisser. Today we learned GM-factory driver Johnny O’Connell is too.

Marshall Pruett's trackside blog (which is not really a blog, but quite entertaining regardless) from ALMS-events tells of O’Connell's pants wetting experience at Le Mans.

Corvette crew chief Dan Banks:

“It was bad…a little over the top, if you ask me” he said, fighting back a look of pained bewilderment and mild amusement. “You can’t get too mad at the guy; these cars shake the h*ll out of you, and you know, for a driver of Johnny’s advanced age, bladder control is the first thing to go…”

Happy Friday. In about 12-hours we hope to be in a condition conducive to pants-wetting.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Sheer lunacy

A bone-stock 2009 Corvette ZR1 lapped the Nürburgring in staggering 7:26. That would be the Nordschleife and not the GP-circuit for those scoring at home. Don't believe it? Here's the official video from GM.

The guys at Jalopnik have been all over the latest round of battles for Nürburgring- supremacy. Tally this round to the Americans.

Kobe rides in greatest passenger car ever produced

Being the reigning NBA MVP allows a man certain privileges in life. Aside from being able to bang two-four chicks simultaneously and the uncanny ability to leap over many a moving objects, Kobe Bryant gets to ride dirty in an early-80's, stainless-steel bodied, Irish, time-traveling beauty. Jealous is an understatement.

The above photo was taken during a Nike launch party for the ultra-limited edition "McFly Hyperdunk" sneakers, based on Marty McFly's kick from Back to the Future II.

While it may be nearly impossible to get your hands on the shoes, you can purchase a brand-new DeLorean directly from DeLorean Motor Company. Word.

Gordon Kirby is looking for a free trip

The Don of motor racing journalism is looking for some more perks to cover the IndyCar Series. Credential and buffet privileges are nice enough, but Gordon Kirby would like a little more. How about the IRL subsidizing airfare costs to events for journalists? Sounds good! (Not that we could ever get approved for such benefits. Christ, we were 86ed from the media center at the Cleveland GP a few years back for trying to swipe a few rip tips. Digression.)

This scheme to get more national journalists to cover races actually came from Honda's PR- guy T.E. McHale, who was quoted in Kirby's weekly website article. The IRL already floats the bill for most of the field to compete, why not help the media-guys out also?

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Up in Smoke

Being wrong is awesome. We indicated in last weekend's NASCAR-preview that Tony Stewart would return to Joe Gibbs Racing for 2009. "Tony Stewart will stay with Joe Gibbs Racing for his final contract year" was the exact wordage used. Turns out, this is not entirely true. Stewart is holding a press conference this afternoon where he will announce his move to owner/driver with (presumably) a renamed HAAS outfit.

Well, you can't win 'em all.

CUP: Stewart Leaving JGR For New HAAS Team


It's officially official. Now we were officially wrong.

Stewart granted release from JGR

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Uday Hussein had a terrible taste in cars

If you bought a Prowler, you deserved to die in a gun fight. Such was the fate of Saddam Hussein's son, Uday. According to the BBC, the remnants of Uday's car collection was found in a field outside of Baghdad. A group of smugglers had planned to move the cars out of the country, according to cops. Aside from the Prowler, two Rollers were recovered along with two "sports cars."

We're not sure if Uday drove his Prowler with the top down, as his towel would have likely blown-off at anything over 20-mph. Rim shot.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Another benefit to racing F1

Being a professional racing driver would be pretty fucking sweet. Plenty of travel, getting to drive flashy looking autos and the potential for many a free continental breakfasts, are all big time pluses in our book.

As the level of competition increases, regardless of discipline, the benefits increase exponentially. For example, a driver in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series does not indulge in many of the aforementioned continental breakfasts as they spend race weekend's in glorious trackside motor homes and may have personal cooks. Check.

As a driver in Formula One, you get similar lodging and food related perks, but the pièce de résistance is the hot wife/girlfriend you get issued along with your FIA Super Licence. Checkmate.

Need visual evidence? How about a gallery?
Photo of Fernando Alonso's lass Raquel Del Rosario.

Weekend recap

What you missed while celebrating the birth of a nation by blowing a part of it up.

- David Hobbs doesn't think too highly of this decision, but F1 will contest its final British GP at the Silverstone circuit for the foreseeable future in 2009. Starting in 2010 Donington Park will play host. On Sunday, Lewis Hamilton won his home GP for the first time, overcoming moist conditions and a visor malady. Nick Heidfeld's BMW Sauber finished second, with Rubens Barrichello's Honda rounding the podium. It was the first top-three for Barrichello in four years.

Hamilton wins rainy British GP

- Most people were confused as shit during the moments directly following Saturday night's Coke Zero 400. The caution came out during the green-white-checkered attempt, ending the race, and baffling fans and officials alike, as Kyle Busch and Carl Edwards were side-by-side at that particular moment. Video replays were used to crown Busch the winner. Matt Kenseth finished third. Thumbs up to Robby Gordon for a P6; thumbs down to Tony Stewart for having to use a relief driver (J.J. Yeley) for the final segment of the race. Smoke had the poops. Probably.

Busch edges Edwards as race ends under caution

- The #20 car continues to be the balls of the Nationwide Series. This time it was Denny Hamlin who piloted the car to victory lane. Kyle Busch finished second in the team-car. Dale Earnhardt Jr. was third (comically, Junior thought Tony Stewart was in the the #20-car until after the race.) In a roundabout way, this was a Nationwide-sweep at Daytona for Joe Gibbs Racing, as Stewart won the race in February driving the deuce-zero.

JGR's 20 adds to fireworks display on Fourth of July

- The IRL IndyCar Series was at Watkins Glen for some road coursing. In surprising fashion, Ryan Hunter-Reay won his first career IRL race. It was surprising because Scott Dixon wrecked under caution, taking out Ryan Briscoe in the process, which paved the Hunter-Reay way. Darren Manning finished second, Tony Kanaan was third and Buddy Rice scored a P4. Danica Patrick finished 14th after wrecking in pit lane whilst trying to do a burnout. It may be in Patrick's best interest to attend one of Frank Hawley's fabulous programs. We recommend the Super Comp course.

Hunter-Reay prevails after Dixon goofs at Watkins Glen

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Coke Zero 400 Powered By Coca-Cola preview

Each week Ridebuyer delves deep into the misunderstood, oft terrifying, world of American saloon-car racing known as NASCAR.

This week: The Coke Zero 400 Powered By Coca-Cola
TV: TNT 6:30pm EST (Saturday)
Location: Daytona International Speedway (Daytona, FL)
Distance: 400 miles/160 laps
2007 winners: K. Harvick (Daytona 500); J. McMurray (summer race).

*Driver swapping, Groundhog Day and the monotony of a repeating schedule*

TV and other media-types affectionately refer to this time of the racing year as "silly season." The term is horrendously overused and Saturday's race broadcast has an over/under of 83 for the phrase's utterance. The smart money is on the over. Bill Weber loves talking about silly season more than J.J. from "Good Times" loved spending all the rent money before the first of the month. It's truly remarkable. This edition of silly season (and last year's, to be fair) have fortunately been mildly interesting, thus making some driver swapping discussion tolerable. (Notice we say "some discussion," as there's nothing worst than listening to media guys talk/debate the pros and cons of Joe Nemechek's potential move to CNC Racing or some other such nobody-outside-of-a dozen-people-in-Charlotte-give-a-shit tidbit. ) Last year's edition of silly season was interesting enough with Dale Earnhardt Jr. on the market, and this year has the names Mark Martin and Tony Stewart being tossed around like a bean bag at a frat house cookout, but besides those examples, SS is largely anti-climatic. Tony Stewart will stay with Joe Gibbs Racing for his final contract year, and Mark Martin is going to Hendrick Motorsports. Move on, guys.

Much can be said about the schedule set forth by NASCAR for the Sprint Cup Series: There are too many events, the races are too long, there is too much distance between events held on consecutive weekends (ie. Sonoma to Loudon in five days), etc. But, the biggest problem we see starts this weekend and repeats until November. Running on the same track twice in one season is ridiculous. Aside from making these fucking previews difficult as shit to write (you trying making the same 'the Poconos are trashy jokes' twice in five weeks, it sucks), it slights the fans in other markets a chance to see a race. Not to continually shit on the Pocono race, but the on-track product sucked three weeks ago, and is going to suck again three weeks from now when NASCAR returns. All of this and Kentucky Speedway can't get a Cup-date to save its life. We know this argument has been made by every wannabe NASCAR reporter who has ever visited a message board, but it's bloody true. Some (most) tracks do not deserve two Cup-dates. New Hampshire, Pocono, Phoenix and Dover could all be reduced to one event each, then you could either replace them with new races or just shorten the schedule. The economy is tight (so we're told), maybe just can 'em.

As it stands, this broken record schedule keeps things about as fresh as John Candy's nutsack. We're talking John Candy from Uncle Buck, not dead John Candy. That would be mean as shit. Note to NASCAR, mix things up a bit. Live a little. There are plenty of race tracks across this great country that would love to have you guys. They could put on a great show and breathe some life into rundown fans and mildly disgruntled bloggers who share their rants with under nine people per day. Viva la revolutiona! Or, however you spell that fascist shit. Currently, the season has a terrible feeling to it. It feels like we have been here before, but cannot find a way to escape and break the endless cycle of repetition.

*What to know:

Restrictor platin': When Saturday's race concludes, there will only be one more restrictor plate event of the year. Just one more time to have 40+ cars running wide-open for extended periods, without the power to get away from each other. That will be nice. Until then, just anticipate the same old restrictor plate bullshit. A large wreck should take out 10-15 cars, track position means nothing as you can move from the back to the front of the pack with ease if your car is good. If you like this kind of racing, you'll like the race. If you think restrictor plate racing takes skill and entertainment out of the race, you'll hate it.

Beware of the Cola: This race has two Coca-Cola products mentioned in its formal title. This might be an unprecedented usage of naming rights to hock a product (or two products in this case). If you think those Coke Zero taste infringement commercials were funny at one point, you suck taint. They are fucking annoying, and will be featured every time a phantom caution comes out for debris. By lap 16 (and the forth commercial break) you'll want to firebomb the bogus law office where those lawyers in the ads came from. If you want to watch this race please use TiVo, or tape it, christ Beta tape it you must, but do not sit through those ads in real time.

Last lapers: The guy who is leading with one lap to go will probably not win this event. This is just another product of the aforementioned restrictor plate and aerodynamics configurations. The past two Daytona 500's are prefect examples of where you want to be when the white flag comes out. Neither Ryan Newman (this year) nor Kevin Harvick (2007) were in the lead, or had the dominant car of the race, yet they won. Watch for the drivers who lag back in the final laps to set up for a run in front of the checker.

View Larger Map

*Who to watch:

Dale Earnhardt Jr: Everyone knows Junior is fast on plate tracks. He has seven wins on super speedways and sits a strong third in points. Hendrick Motorsports' are still behind the Toyota-power of Joe Gibbs Racing and the Chevy's of Childress, but their shortcomings can be masked at Daytona. His one win this season was a strange fuel mileage race, but he can notch a legitimate #2 'w' this weekend.

Tony Stewart: Smoke was the fastest at Daytona during Speedweeks and should have won The 500 this year. He knows the big tracks like no one else and it straining to get his first win of the year. He has two wins at Daytona and 10 top-10's. He gets it. Add to that his Toyota-powered Gibbs' car, which is clearly the combination to have, and Stewart is a clear favorite.

Kyle Busch: The points leader has all of the equipment that Stewart has, but one significant advantage: momentum. It now looks like Busch is a for-real contender for the points title, and has proved his competitiveness on all types of circuits. He has never won at Daytona, but there is no reason why he can't. Get used to seeing the kid with the queer sunglasses in victory lane. Thank god it's a night race.

*Dark Horse:

David Ragan:
The Roush-youngster has been steadily gaining momentium this season. He has shown that he can run in the top-15 at most tracks and has had some success at Daytona to boot (finishing fifth in the '07 500.) The Roush-Fenway team has been posting solid results, solid enough to give Ragan The Horse. Enjoy it, son.

*For those heading to the track:

Pertinent tailgating information is here. The official Ridebuyer cocktail of the race is the "Blue Grass"

1 1/2 oz bourbon
1 oz pineapple juice
1 oz lemon juice
1/4 oz cherry liqueur

We've never had one, but it seems like they'd fuck you up.

*Series points:


Next race: 400 (Joliet, IL). This is not to be confused with the "LifeLock 400" which was four races ago at Michigan. Weird.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

What would you do with an extra 320 feet?

If you were the NHRA, you'd use that space to slow down nitro-burning drag cars.

In the aftermath of Scott Kalitta's fatal accident in Englishtown, NJ, the sanctioning body has decided that both Top Fuel and Funny Car classes will race to 1,000 feet instead of the traditional 1,320 feet or one-quarter mile. This is to give the groundpounders an extra bit to get things slowed down after a 300+mph pass.

The change may or may not be a permanent thing, but is a short term way to give nitro cars more shutdown area. It should also shorten the elapsed time of runs by a few tenths, we'd guess. Hopefully fans will not demand refunds for upcoming events because the races only last 4.212 seconds instead of the far superior and more entertaining 4.412 seconds.

Wow, that really didn't work out

Dario Franchitti's foray into the Sprint Cup Series has ended with less-than stellar results. Chip Ganassi and Felix Sabates have pulled the plug on the #40 team, leaving Franchitti and about 70-employees outside of NASCAR's pinnacle series. The Scot made just 10 races (of 17) and sits 41st in points. The icing on the Ganassi-shitcake was spread at Infineon Raceway, where the supposed road racing ace DNQ'ed. Damn.

Ah, the fate of the 2007 Indy 500 and IndyCar Series' champion... A fickle sport, this auto racing is...

This epic collapse got us thinking about other questionable moves throughout the history of all sports, not just the cruel bitch known as motor racing.

With some help from Protrade, here's a list of things that, at one time, seemed like a good idea, but shorty broke the hearts of fans and GM's alike:

*Phillies trade Ryne Sandberg and Larry Bowa to Cubs for Ivan DeJesus in 1982.

*Orioles trade Curt Schilling, Steve Finley and Pete Harnisch to Astros for Glenn Davis in 1991.

*Colts trade the draft rights to the John Elway to Denver in exchange for quarterback Mark Hermann, the rights to offensive tackle Chris Hinton and a first-round pick in the 1984 draft, which ended up being guard Ron Solt.

*Red Sox trade Babe Ruth to Yankees for $100,000 in 1920.

*Dodgers trade Pedro Martinez to Montreal in a straight-up deal for second baseman Delino DeShields in 1993.

To be fair, Delino DeShields was pretty awesome... Add to this list every driver to leave American open-wheel competition for F1 in, say, the last 25 years.

Hey, look on the bright side Dario, now you have more time to enjoy your wife (oh, and running in the Nationwide Series).

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The history of the "royal we"

People who visit this site might not be totally in tuned with the ins-and-outs of the sporting blogosphere. (Holy shit, what a queer term that was.) To enlighten, one of the larger blogs out in these here internets goes by the name of Deadspin and is widely read and appreciated by sporting-fans, quasi-media types and anyone who enjoys a good pedophilia joke (who doesn't?). Occasionally this humble shitbox of motoring-inspired malarkey is even linked over at Deadspin. We're grateful. The creator of said site (a well-dressed young man named Will Leitch) has recently left his post atop the sporting blog world to pursue other writing endeavors.

To send off their fair creator in a fashion fit for a king and his harem, Deadspin held a "blogger-roast" where friends of the site pulled their best Jeffrey Ross impressions and shit all over Leitch. One of the roasters was the Sports Guy himself, Bill Simmons. B.S. called out Leitch on a number of topics including his predisposed usage of the word "we" when the singular "I" seems more appropriate.

You also used the word "we" all the time in your posts, only you were always talking about yourself. What literary device was this? The fourth person? The fifth person? We always wondered why you did that. And by we, I mean me.

This is just another example of how our site (and more importantly, countless others) has raped off of Deadspin. We feel better for it. We must tip our collective hats to Leitch and what Deadspin has done to make blogs slightly less gay. We will continue the usage of the "royal we" in honor of Will Leitch and the awesomeness he started with Deadspin. In short, thank you for the occasional link, we sure did appreciate it.