F1 spotter guide

Has the long off-season made you forget who the driver of the #2 Force India car is? You are certainly not alone. Check out this beautiful Andy Blackmore-designed spotter's guide for tonight's Australian GP. It's like porn, but with racing cars.

Oh, and it's Adrian Sutil, by the way.

USF1 presser: The vids

We understand if you missed the launch q&a session for USF1 this afternoon. Noon on a Tuesday? Not in front of your TV? Huh. Interesting. Luckily, through the magic of the interwebs, you can see the highlights right here!







We like Mario's pleas to get Marco into a race seat. Nice set, Varsha.

According to GrandPrix.com (via Jalopnik) Honda's F1 outfit could be on the market. No word has come from Japan. Mark Cuban's checkbook is MIA. Coincidence?

Maybe they are not selling as many Accords as we all thought.

Honda Rumored To Be Selling F1 Team

Bernie Ecclestone pulls a Ricky Bobby. "If you're not first, you're last." The F1 boss has plans for a new points system that would award gold medals to race winners. At season's end, the man with the most gold wins. What happens in the event of a tie? Not discussed. Donovan McNabb rejoices, FIA to vote.

Ecclestone expects gold medal plan to be in place for 2009 (ESPN)

Remember reading those great stories about Fat-Elvis' shooting up his television in the Jungle Room? The tales all started out pretty much the same. Either, The King, whacked out on pills and cough syrup,... or The King, after a four day glue sniffing binge,... You get the idea.

Well, Ferrari boss Luca di Montezemolo (Bada bing?) pulled a The King-esque move after watching his boy Felipe Massa's title chances slip away during the Brazilian Grand Prix.

When a television breaks it makes a terrible bang. My daughter in the other room was given an awful fright. Luckily we had another television so I was able to watch the podium ceremony, which I enjoyed.

Glad he enjoyed the podium ceremony. Chill out bro.

Ferrari boss smashed TV after F1 finale

Another fucking note from the editor

It has taken the better part of two weeks, enough can beer to power a bricklayers union meeting, three cheesesteak enemas, a new POTUS, and a number of truly bazaar interactions with the homeless to get somewhat recovered from the Phillies championship.

I'm back, baby. Time for some housecleaning. First order of business: what happens when the racing stops?

It's yet to be seen (or decided) how this fair site will function during the off-season. I'm thinking of a slow digression into a medium-to-hard-core porn fetish dumpster. That'll be dependant on how cold it gets. So, stay tuned!

Also, don't forget to flip over to the remaining Sprint Cup events when they're on the television light tubes. I'd say a requisite flip-from-football every hour or so should keep you abreast of Jimmie Johnson's inevitable third title.

Cheers to Lewis Hamilton & Co. Deserving title. As a victory celebration, enjoy a gallery of Formula One's First Ladies (including LH's lady-friend), and their counterparts from the world of American saloon-car racing. Until next time, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy the new POTUS and, for godsakes, don't shake the hand of a homeless guy. There could be poo in there.

-Ed.

Stolen from the blogosphere

The good folks at jalopnik have provided us with scantily-clad lady pics! The lady? Bernie Ecclestone's daughter! Horray Friday! And exclamation points!

In the interest of equal time, here's something for the females. It's the Machine.

.333 in the post season, game-winning bomb last against the Dodgers, dreamy eyes....

Thank you for continued readership. Go Phils. Fuck the Dodgers. NASCAR preview will be up before the race starts. Hopefully. Maybe. Hungover.

The best way to piss off your wife? Trail breaking

Between 1977-1993 Riccardo Patrese competed in 256 Grand Prix. It's a good thing his wife could never ride shotgun with the former-ace during events. Here are the two having a tiff inside a Honda Civic Type R during a hot lap of the Jerez circuit. We're thinking she may want him to slow up a bit.



We don't speak Italian, but the bit of sign language used by Mrs. Patrese near the end is pretty universal.

Riccardo definitely slept on the couch that night.

For all the people who are forced to live with Comcast Cable not offering Speedtv in their area (ahem... Center City Philadelphia...ahem), here's a little montage of the F1-at-night action you missed.


Singapore Executive Summary from Axis of Oversteer.com Video on Vimeo.

Schumacher wrecks minivan into garage door

F1-God Michael Schumacher reportedly wadded up a van while in route to Lydd airport in Kent. Autocar says the seven-time champ "collided with a garage door while overtaking another car. Martin Kingham was shutting the door at the time, and was thrown onto the bonnet of a nearby vehicle by the impact." Police then arrived, administered a Schuey-breath test (it was negative) and sent the champ on his way. Reports say the guy who got tossed was not hurt.

This confirms our long held belief that when racing drivers retire, they slowly devolve into Billy Joel. Sound of rim shot.


Schuey has a shunt in the UK

BMW Sauber mechanic jolted by KERS

Last week during testing at Jerez, a wrench spinner for BWM Sauber was thrown to the ground by an apparent electrical shock caused by a malfunctioning KERS setup. Video of the incident has now emerged, and if you like to watch painful looking things and men flying through the air, it will be right up your alley.

Fear not, the mechanic is out of the hospital.

F1 testing: BMW mechanic suffers electric shock at Jerez (Grid Crasher)

Another benefit to racing F1

Being a professional racing driver would be pretty fucking sweet. Plenty of travel, getting to drive flashy looking autos and the potential for many a free continental breakfasts, are all big time pluses in our book.

As the level of competition increases, regardless of discipline, the benefits increase exponentially. For example, a driver in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series does not indulge in many of the aforementioned continental breakfasts as they spend race weekend's in glorious trackside motor homes and may have personal cooks. Check.

As a driver in Formula One, you get similar lodging and food related perks, but the pièce de résistance is the hot wife/girlfriend you get issued along with your FIA Super Licence. Checkmate.

Need visual evidence? How about a gallery?

Photo of Fernando Alonso's lass Raquel Del Rosario.

Sharon Stone, the World Champ, and a Stingray

Our good friends at News of the World have premiered a new motor racing column scribed by Michelle Tomlin. It is from the most recent "Vroom at the Top" that we learn of the latest purchase of F1-champ (and serial club-grinder) Kimi Raikkonen. The 1974 (gross, gas crisis) Corvette Stingray was purchased at auction in Monaco. The kicker? the £160,000 (approximately $19 million) Chevy was purchased from the Sharon Stone collection. Maybe that new hotrod will help you bag the microphone wielding young lady.

The only thing funnier than wrecking a Porsche is wrecking a Porsche Carrera GT

The good folks at Jalopnik have obtained (by way of The Sun) the following photos of the aftermath of Anthony Hamilton's (Lewis' father and manager) Porsche Carrera GT jaunt. By jaunt, we obviously mean horribly embarrassing wreck.

According to The Sun report, Mr. Hamilton was attempting to show-off to some onlookers, when the back end stepped around, sending the $643,600 Porsche backwards through a fence. The kicker? The car was borrowed.

Billy Joel is rather jealous.

More dusty, gross, bush-flattening photos.

Have confidence in your pervert

Max Mosley- the most prominent Nazi-sex loving motor racing administrator we can think of-will keep his position atop the FIA. The results of the"extraordinary general assembly" meeting of FIA-members are in, and... Yes, Mosley got the "confidence" vote, meaning his position is likely safe until his term expires in October of 2009. That position is, of course, bent over an chaise lounger, whilst taking a flogging by a Chelsea hooker dressed like an extra from Hogan's Heroes.

Well done, Max.

It's worth noting that one FIA-member club that voted "no-confidence" was the American Automobile Association (AAA). It makes us feel safe that the people who dispatch tow trucks and give seniors discounts at Golden Corrals are firmly against Nazi-themed orgies. Rest easy Gold Card members.

Max Mosley wins vote of confidence

Six days until Mosley-orgy meeting

In what can only be described as our heroic attempt to keep the masses abreast of developments in Max Mosley's Nazi-orgy-gate, we find it necessary to remind folks that FIA-member clubs will decide Mosley's fate on June 3rd. The extraordinary (FIA's term, not RB'ers) meeting will either give Mosley a vote of "confidence", or "no confidence."

Who knows what that means, but regardless of the outcome the meeting will be classic. Picture hundreds of serious looking motoring officials having a polite discourse about the merits and potential pitfalls of Nazi-themed sex. Yes. God, yes.

Until then, enjoy the latest round of funny quotes on the subject.

"Poor old Max. I feel sorry for him. Everybody's wrong except him. Everybody was involved in the orgy except him. He is just lashing out at anything he can.

"If he wants me to be the enemy he should be very careful because if he makes me an enemy I could make sure he never whips anybody again. " - Bernie Ecclestone

"Max has proved he is an emperor without any clothes. " -Jackie Stewart

Of course, RB'ers coverage of the FIA orgy-meeting will be in-depth, with live first hand accounts of the absurdity. We will be working in shifts that night...

Bernie Ecclestone: I could make sure Max Mosley never whips anybody again

Nazi sexpert

Being a Nazi-orgy expert could be the coolest job ever.

The FIA has decided the best way to handle Max Mosley's sex practices is to appoint "an independent expert to investigate allegations that the sex scandal... included Nazi role playing."

The following questions come to mind:

-Who could possibly be an expert in determining the Nazi-ness of an orgy?

-Is there a union for such experts?

-What qualifications are needed to obtain such positions?

One could only hope the answers to the above are, 'most people,' 'yes,' and 'not much'.

Regardless of the sexpert's findings, June 3rd is still the day of reckoning for everyone's favorite sicko.

-F1 governing body asks expert to probe Nazi link

Nazi-style sado-masochistic orgy update

F1 bosses met during the Spanish GP weekend to discuss the possible adaptation of kinetic energy recovery systems (just Wikipedia it). Instead of an in-depth discourse on boring-old abstract technical matters, the conversation reportedly just digressed into a Max Mosley debate of epic proportions. Someone inside that meeting told Reuters that a proposal for a united petition calling on Mosley to quit failed after reluctance from Williams, Toro Rosso and Ferrari. Clearly those teams hate Jews.

-Report: F1 bosses split on petition asking Mosley to step down

Pope to weigh-in on Nazi orgy

File the following sentence under the "things I didn't expect to type today" heading:

Since (for some unknown fucking reason) the Vatican is a member of the FIA, it will have a vote in the Orgygate no-confidence meeting to be held in Paris on June 3rd. Pope Benedict XVI's representative, Cardinal Renato Martino, will be in attendance to punch his ballot. The weirdness continues to get stupid.

Sexcommunicated: Pope to vote on Max Mosley

Max Mosley's women

Keeping everyone abreast of the latest Max Mosley Nazi-orgy news is a full time job. Thank the lord there is a media outlet who has undertaken the daunting task of fueling the sadomasochist-fire created by the FIA Czar. Despite Mosley's attempts to stop News of the World from continuing the publication of videos, pictures and stories relating to his antisemitic hooker-laden romp through Chelsey, the London tabloid prevailed. NoW has some juicy updates.

Here is the latest audio from the Mosley orgy.

Here is an interview with one of the hookers involved.

Looking for pictures of the ladies involved? You're in luck.



For those who haven't seen it, the original video has made its way to YouTube. Enjoy the embedded version.




And more folks are jumping on the "Mosley must resign bandwagon." The latest, Jackie Stewart.

Don't worry, Ridebuyer will stay on top of further Mosley-developments... By "stay on top of" we mean copy and paste images from other sites, of course. Enjoy.

All images obtained from NoW.