Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Doom, gloom, the off season and motor oil

The landscape of open-wheel racing in this country has been quiet for little more than one month… Yes, I know the Champ Car World Series season is technically still going, but for Christ sakes, after an eight-week siesta followed by another layoff, added to the fact that the championship is wrapped-up, who really cares? No, the long off-season is staring us right in the face.
What will follow is a period of time where -for Champ Car fans-, no news is good news, and -for Indy Car Series fans-, all news is boring as shit.
Reports of the ultimate demise of CC are both premature and exaggerated. However, until the flag drops at the season opener folks will hopelessly question if the series will answer the bell in 08. Attempting to figure car counts for the season opener is futile. Trying to piece together a schedule before its release is useless (on a side note, there will be silly gaps between races and a god-awful attempt at an event in Asia…Which will fail. It’s where the smart money lies). Teams will fold, new teams may emerge, established drivers will look towards other series, and ride-buyers will reach for their wallets and polish their new Arai lids. It happens. Every season since the great open-wheel schism it has happened. There is no use getting wrapped up in it now, just months of winter for us all to stew in the juices of doom, gloom and uncertainty. Silence is golden; don’t even mention Kevin K’s court dates… Christ is it snowing out?

On the flip side of things, folks in the marketing department at the IRL have fired up their typewriters and released this gem.

Jesus. First, I am Indy, now the official lube of Indy Car? We have months of getting this sort of information. The car count will likely be similar to what it was this past season (maybe a CC team or IPS team moving up due to new funds allocations), drivers may swap rides here or there, but that’s about it. Nothing earth shattering, nothing too unexpected (although Robin Miller is starting a Dunno to F1 rumor, stay tuned on that one), nothing even remotely interesting. To get through this lull, I’m armed with a pile of back-issue Racers, many extra blankets, some non-descript booze, and the knowledge that gray skies and slop are much closer than sunshine and cars on the track. At least the NBA started last night. Oh god, that is a truly horrific statement.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Alonso pulls an Evita

Disheartened two-time world champion Fernando Alonso returned home to Spain, where he felt it necessary to address the common-folks. No word as to if the Catalonian was asked to bless any children or perform any ritual circumcisions while home. Almost reminiscent of Saddam addressing the droves and firing wildly in the air… By the way, Fernando, enjoy battling for forth with Williams next season.


Sunday, October 28, 2007

Sox fans high on Boston, low on baseball

A coworker gave me the following sports nugget before game 6 of the ALCS. "Fuckin Sox, fuck their fans, man, fuck the Sox."

Simple enough. Undisclosed Coworker doesn't like the Boston Red Sox. Maybe he grew up following the Yanks, maybe he's a Tribe guy, maybe his uncle touched him while playing Sweet Caroline on continuous loop, maybe some sort of sick hybrid of all three. For Christ sakes, the man is entitled to his opinion about the team, the city and their fans.

Boston is a serious baseball town, I am sure many of their fans are knowledgeable about the game and truly passionate about what takes place inside Fenway.

Unfortunately, outside of Mass. few fans of the Sox adhere to the high standards of baseball-dom set forth by generations of losers, Southies, and otherwise fresh-off-the boaties.

I now reluctantly agree with the comments made by Undisclosed Coworker.

Case in point... Game three WS, last night. A sports bar. Baseball on three screens, college football on three screens. A mob of the "Red Sox Nation." Oh yes, out in full force were droves of Papelbon t-shirt wearing, Fever-Pitch owning, Drop Kick Murphies listening, posers. This was a group (probably 30 strong) who were much more interested in being seen, than seeing the WS.

Case in point... During a particularly vital moment in the action (Holliday hits three-run bomb to bring the Rocks within a run) a young (female) nation-member is in the bathroom -**important to note ** story told to me by female companion who also found herself relieving the pressures of $2 coors lights in the ladies room at the same time. Being the proper sports bar this establishment is, the game is on in the can. Joe Buck's call of the Holliday homer is announced as nation-member is applying make-up and looking at her ass in the mirror. No reaction to call. No "damnit," "shit," "darn," nothing. She was completely oblivious to plight of her beloved Sox. What a farce.

The bar was full of these weak fans. Broads looking to impress their boyfriends by sporting provocative Sox tee's, and pretending interest in the team.

This is, of course, not something that is confined to female nation-members. No, the dudes blow too.

Last example... the two Sox guys to my left were sure that Daisuke was brought back into the game to "finish em' (the Rocks I guess) off. No sir, that is not Daisuke, it happens to be another pitcher who is also Asian. And you can't really take a player out of the game, then put them back... well never mind.

Alas, the Red Sox will likely close out the series in about an hour in Denver. The loyal members of the Red Sox-nation will rejoice in another championship. But, after the celebration ends, Philly-branch nation members will be left with the empty feeling that they can't name three players on the club, they get the teams Asian pitchers confused and are more concerned with how their ass looks in jeans than what happens on the field. To be fair though, she did have a nice ass.