Making it rain with Kyle Busch

What would you do if you just won your hometown NASCAR race?

Party like a rock star? Maybe drop some dimes on 'dem hoes? How about making it rain? Well, if you happened to be Kyle Busch, you'd answer "hell" and "yes" to all of the above.

Good for you, son.

Kyle Busch Executes $5,000 Splash 'n Go (Via TMZ)

Daytona dumping post

Everything you need to get ready for the happenings at DIS this here weekend (oh, and what you missed while out on Friday trying to find a suitable Valentine's Day piece of ass in a vain attempt to hind your deep emotional trauma from a lifetime of being unloved...).:

Starting Line Up by Row Daytona International Speedway



Schedule of events:

Saturday February 14th
11:00 AM – 12:30 PM – NSCS Final Practice for the Daytona 500
12:45 PM – NNS Driver Introductions for the Camping World 300
1:15 PM - NNS Camping World 300 (120 laps, 300 miles)

Sunday February 15th
2:30 PM – NSCS Driver Introductions for the Daytona 500
3:30 PM – NSCS Daytona 500(200 laps, 500 miles)

Bodine wins first Truck race of season

Harvick takes pole for Nationwide race

Better know your go-or-go homers

Another season of fender-laden America oval racing is upon us. That means it's time to give a refresher course on the rather nuanced (ahem, ridiculous, stupid, not fair, idiotic, ahem) system of qualifying for Cup racing. For now, we shall concentrate on Daytona 500 quals.

Deep breath, here goes:

Thirty-five drivers are locked in the field based on 2008 owner points. That's straight forward enough.

Tony Stewart (new team this year, remember?) gets locked in based on his past championship provisional.

That leaves 21 entered cars (57 total entries were received) to vie for the final seven starting positions.

You can either make the race on qualifying speed tomorrow (Sunday) or by racing into the show on Thursday during the 150-mile qualifying races.

Tomorrow's qualifying will only set the front row.

Two non-locked in drivers from each of the races Thursday get automatic starting spots.

-And-

The rest of the field will be determined by speed.

Oh, Stewart only gets the past champ freebie if he needs it, so should he make the field by other means, Terry Labonte would be next in line, followed by Bill Elliott, should both Smoke and Terry make the field.

Exhale.

Via SceneDaily, here is a list of the drivers vying for those last, none locked spots:

EM Motorsports’ Boris Said, Phoenix Racing’s Brad Keselowski, R3 Motorsports’ Mike Skinner, Kirk Shelmerdine Racing’s Kirk Shelmerdine, Yates Racing’s Travis Kvapil, Tommy Baldwin Racing’s Scott Riggs, Front Row Motorsports’ Tony Raines, Mayfield Motorsports’ Jeremy Mayfield, Richard Petty Motorsports’ AJ Allmendinger, Carl Long Racing’s Carl Long, Blackjack Racing’s Kelly Bires, Norm Benning Racing’s Norm Benning, EM Motorsports’ James Hylton, Gunselman Motorsports' Geoff Bodine, TRG Motorsports’ Mike Wallace, H&S Motorsports’ Mike Garvey, Cope/Keller Racing’s Derrike Cope, Furniture Row Racing’s Regan Smith and Nemco Motorsports’ Joe Nemechek.

Good luck, guys. We're going to go sit down and decompress our brains.

Have a great race weekend.

When NASCAR fans push

Deadspin gives us a terrifying view into the grandstand happenings at Homestead. Hint, it involves a guy getting pushed, then doing nothing, except for being a bitch. (Originally posted at Fandome.)



If you happen to know the crux of this scuffle, let us know. We're thinking the two disagreed on the impact of FDI and economic growth.

Which Johnson had the better weekend?

Here are your options:

Eagles Defensive Coordinator Jim Johnson.

The Iggles played a vital role in the first tie the NFL has seen since 2002. Against the Bengals. Yes, the one-win, hopeless, hapless Cincinnati Bengals. The Eagles' D let some fellow named Ryan Fitzpatrick go 29-of-44 for 261 yards. TJ Houshmandzadeh had 149-yards receiving. The plus for Johnson here is that the tie can not be attributed solely to his D. The Bengals were forced to punt 11 times, and Fitzpatrick was sacked eight times. We'll give Johnson a "B-" for the weekend. Hey, at least he knew games could end in a tie. So we think...

South Florida Playboy, former footballing coach, and current TV talking hair Jimmy Johnson.

We have two reliable sources who placed Johnson, after his Fox duties ended Sunday, partying at a Sunset strip club with Frank Caliendo. Our sources say Johnson was 86'ed after a private dance ended with no release. He was heard saying, "If you're gonna talk the talk, you better walk the walk!"as he was tossed to sidewalk. Caliendo stayed and said, "Turducken" many times. The waitstaff laughed. We'll give Johnson an "A-" solely because he opted for the private dance, and not the champagne room. He is a man of the people.

Three-time NASCAR Champ Jimmie Johnson.

The guy won his third straight Cup title on Sunday in mediocre, don't- rock- the- boat- fashion. Dude finished p15. That's not terribly impressive. Travis Kvapil beat the guy on Sunday. So did Bill Elliott, who is approximately 76. Come. On. Three in a row is pretty cool, but Jimmie, do it with some style. We'll give him a "B" for the weekend.

So, drumroll... The best Johnson weekend award goes to... Jimmy Johnson, and his totally fabricated weekend involving strippers and a guy with a terrible show on TBS. Outstanding.

Bruton Smith: Down and Out in Charlotte

Thatsracin is reporting some troubling news about NASCAR track czar Bruton Smith. He may not be a billionaire anymore! It seems that the current economic climate (by climate we mean bed-shitting, crotch-puke) has hit Smith rather hard. Here is the reported breakdown of his breakdown.

In the past year, the value of those shares (Smith's Sonic Automotive dealership chain) has plummeted 87 percent, costing him more than $268 million.

Smith also is chairman and chief executive of Speedway Motorsports, which owns Lowe's Motor Speedway and six other major tracks. His roughly 29 million shares in the Concord-based company have declined in value by more than 64 percent, erasing more than $711 million.

Our addition skills are not that great, but 268+711 seems like a lot of millions.

Side note: SbB has this story linked and used the following picture of Smith.

Or, is that the king of the one-liner, Don Rickles? You decide.

Bob Saget wannabe foils Phoenix race

Sunday's Sprint Cup event was not a throwaway race. Interesting things could have taken place (they didn't, but they could have); it was the penultimate round of the title for godsakes! Sure, the prospects of an epic Jimmie Johnson v. Carl Edwards showdown were slim, but you'd think round 35 of 36 in the Chase for the Sprint Cup would pull more network weight than"America's Funnest Home Videos."

Yeah, you'd think.

As many of you witnessed, with 34-to-go on Sunday, most of the country's race coverage was replaced with "AFV."

The race coverage concluded on ESPN2, but still, what the fuck?

What is truly mystifying is why Disney/ABC/ESPN devotes so much time to pre-race festivities, driver intros, praying to God, flyovers, Rusty Wallace sitting behind a desk, etc., yet would even consider ending network coverage early. It makes no sense. NASCAR, in a rare moment of truthiness, doesn't get the programming logic either.

It's almost funny that the premier motor racing series in the country was treated like a bitch by TV higher-ups. NASCAR truly got the IndyCar/CART/Champ Car treatment from TV-execs. Ouch. That hurts.

If this doesn't show the masses where motor racing sits in the greater-American sport's hierarchy, nothing will.

The bigger questions raised... Who knew "America's Funniest Home Videos" was still on TV?

This story brought to you by SbB

"Hot" Carl Edwards is engaged to this lady. (She's a doctor! Nice going, Carl.)

Showing undying devotion to current sponsor Office Depot, the wedding invites were picked from OD's stationary selection and the stores' design, print and shipping services will take care of the, well, designing, printing and shipping of the cards.

On a scale of 1 to tacky, we'll give this move a 7. Remember what happened to Susan when George skimped on the invitations? Keep that in mind.

Marital Bliss, Now Brought To You By Home Depot (SbB)

Junior Johnson wants you to vote for Barack Obama. No, seriously.

Holy Crap!! NASCAR'S Junior Johnson comes out for Obama (Daily Kos)

The Chaser #3: Camping World RV 400 presented by Coleman

Each week Ridebuyer delves deep into the misunderstood, oft terrifying, world of American saloon-car racing known as NASCAR.

This week: Camping World RV 400 presented by Coleman (Chase round #3)

TV: ABC 1:00pm EST (Sunday)

Location: Kansas Speedway (Kansas City, KS)

Distance: 267 laps/400 miles

Past winner: G. Biffle (9/07).

*Ode to Kyle Busch's season, upsets and underdogs*

- Kyle Busch led the points for 17 consecutive weeks before the Chase. Since the "playoffs" began, he has not finished inside the top-30 and has effectively ended his chances of becoming champion. He currently sits p12, 210 points adrift of Carl Edwards in p1. His title run is over. A valiant effort. But, as Lou Holtz would say, close only counts in horseshoes. Maybe sexual assault too. Yup, only sexual assault and horseshoes, definitely not NASCAR.

Busch's title was lost not solely by Busch, but was truly a team effort. His dismal "playoff" finishes to date were caused by mechanical failures. There is no indication that Busch played any role in causing those failures. Although, he could have been speaking to the mechanic who was supposed to be tightening the anti-sway bar in New Hampshire, thus distracting him, causing the cross-thread to end all cross-threads. Not likely, but possible. Barring that unlikely scenario, Busch's crew (the engine department not excluded) probably feels pretty damn shitty. Alas, those are the breaks of a cruel and fickle sport. Sorry Kyle and co. Perhaps next season.

When thinking about Busch's overall performance in stock cars this year, it's hard to fathom that not a single championship will be awarded to ridiculous-sunglass laden racer. It's like his season forcibly ended, not allowing its natural progression to play out. Sad really. (Unless you hate Kyle Busch, his team, Joe Gibbs, - those who saw him speak at the RNC should passionately hate him- Toyota, or some combination of all four. Then it's quite funny.)

Kyle Busch's 2008 NASCAR season.

3-1-08

-

9-21-08

RIP

-The biggest upset in the young college football season took place last Thursday night in Corvallis, OR. It illustrates the (kinda) longstanding rule in college football that no team is safe against a fired-up underdog and point spreads mean nothing. The Oregon State Beavers were 25-point dogs to the USC. 25 fucking points! Any team can beat any team at any time. It's what makes college football great. Motor racing certainly has some parallels to this. See: Joe Nemechek, Kansas Speedway, 2004. The habitual underdog scored a weekend trifecta when he won the Cup pole, the Nationwide race and the Cup race on the intermediate track. He is obviously looking for some luck this weekend at the track where beasted the competition four years ago. Check out Tom Jensen's notebook (speedtv.com) for more information on Front-Row Joe's baller Kansas weekend. It may not have happened this season, but NASCAR underdogs can-and routinely do-best the Hendrick Motorsports and Gibbs Racings of the world.

About this race:

*What to know:

One race/year? Not a problem: Kansas Speedway is part of a minority of tracks on the NASCAR schedule with only one Cup race date. This puts the track in the company of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, the bastard step children of NASCAR circuits (that would be the road courses at Watkins Glen and Sonoma), Chicagoland, and Las Vegas. Everywhere else gets two Cup dates and thus have double the chances to cash on the NASCAR money gravy train. Good for them. For the racers, one would think visiting a track only once a year would be a tricky proposition for race car setups. Especially with the added pressure of this being a Chase event. However this a non-issue. All 1.5-mile tracks are the same. Really they are. There are tons of 1.5- mile tracks that Cup teams can draw information from. For a while, it seemed like a new intermediate track popped up every six months across the country. And NASCAR made it a point to put them all on the schedule. Every last one of them. Teams will have no problem setting their cars up for this event.

Jimmie loves Juan: Jimmie Johnson should send a big thing of flowers over to Juan Montoya and the entire Ganassi Racing team as they are the reason the defending champ will start from the pole on Sunday. Montoya ran the fastest lap in qualifying, but was ultimately disqualified for a technical infraction. That promoted Johnson to the top starting spot. The starting grid is a bit of cluster-eff with only one other Chase driver starting in the top-10 (Kenseth, p3). Carl Edwards , Kevin Harvick, Jeff Burton and Tony Stewart will all start outside of the top-30. (Starting grid)

"Hot" Carl from the rear: The point leader and consensus best-looking stockcar driver since Harry Gant will have a difficult task come Sunday. "Hot" Carl will take the green flag in 34th position after a qualifying run which was more than .5 sec. adrift of Johnson's pole speed. Relegated with the habitual backmarkers are Harvick and Stewart as well. Look for them to try

to hookup with Edwards and pick their ways frontward.


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Who to watch:

Greg Biffle: The winner of the previous two Chase events is also the defending race winner at KS. He will start Sunday's event in 18th, and should he win, that would be the third worst starting position for a Kansas winner in the event's brief tenure on circuit. The worst starting spot to win at KS belongs to Stewart, who rolled off p21 before rolling into victory lane in 2006. Biffle has three top-5's at Kansas and an average finishing spot of 11th.

Mark Martin: Martin was only .044 sec. off of the pole speed for this race. In the last four starts he's made this season, his worst finish was 8th in Pocono. He finished forth last week and has an average KS finish of 12.4 with one win (2005). Martin is a good value bet at 15/1 to win or even at 9/2 to place in top-3.

Jeff Gordon: The honor of most wins by a driver at KS belongs to Gordon. He won in 2001 and 2002. He has 40-career wins on intermediate circuits. 40 is a big number. He did not stumble as much as other Chasers in qualifying and will roll off in 13th.

*For those heading to the track:

Pertinent tailgating information is here. The following sentence from the track's website outlines the potential for lameness during the race:

Outside food or drinks, ice, coolers of any type and drink containers are not permitted through the grandstand gates.

Sorry folks, your drunkenness will have to be confined to the parking lots before the race.

The Ridebuyer cocktail of the race is the Singapore Sling. We are

not sure why. Remember to bring you Tom Collins glasses to the race. The umbrellas are an absolute must.

Points:

1 Carl Edwards

2 Jimmie Johnson

3 Greg Biffle

4 Jeff Burton

5 Kevin Harvick

6 Clint Bowyer

7 Tony Stewart

8 Jeff Gordon

9 Dale Earnhardt Jr.

10. Matt Kenseth

11. Denny Hamlin

12. Kyle Busch

Next race: Amp Energy 500 (Talladega Superspeedway). Final plate track of the season. One last chance to play wreck 'em. Tailgaters already in route.

The race car, er, card

Hypothetical situation:

You're at work. You get into an argument with a coworker. It's a fairly heated argument. In a fit of rage, you say "I ought to cut you" to that employee. (We're talking cut, as in slice or shank.) The next day, you're fired. Is this fair recourse for your employer?

If your name happens to be Dean Duckett, and your ex-employer was NASCAR, than no, that shit's not right.

Last week, Duckett filed a complaint with the Buffalo department of the EEOC (clearly bringing in the big guns) citing a hostile work environment and wrongful termination from his tech position at NASCAR.

Duckett told the AP he is considering a lawsuit if NASCAR refuses to offer him his old job back (!?). Reread that last sentence.

Dear Dean,

You're not getting your job back. And if what you say is true, why would you want it back?

Signed-

Reasonable people.

The kicker in this story is that Duckett was named in Mauricia Grant's $250 million racial and sexual discrimination lawsuit against NASCAR. Duckett was accused by Grant of dumping water on a (female) NASCAR official to simulate a wet T-shirt contest.

Outstanding.

Former inspector issues discrimination complaint

The Chaser #2: Camping World RV 400 presented by AAA

Each week Ridebuyer delves deep into the misunderstood, oft terrifying, world of American saloon-car racing known as NASCAR.

This week: Camping World RV 400 presented by AAA (Chase round #2)
TV: ABC 1:00pm EST (Sunday)
Location: Dover International Speedway (Dover, DE)
Distance: 400 laps/400 miles
Past winners: M. Truex (6/07); C. Edwards (9/07); Ky. Busch (6/08).

*Crappy starts, sporting meltdowns and mistakes *

-It seems like Kyle Busch was the points leader for the entire season. Until now. Now he sits in eighth place and has back against the proverbial title wall. After one Chase race, his entire cushion has been eradicated to the brink of no return. Sure, Busch can still win the championship. It could happen. But he's used up his only Chase mulligan. Should the young Busch (hehe) stumble again, his title hopes will be over faster than Steve Wiebe can jump a plumber past a barrel. This would be a historic collapse. Taking into account Busch's performance in all of the NASCAR series' this season, not winning a single championship would be quite the fold up. Remember, at one time, Busch held the points lead in all three major NASCAR touring series. Sure, he ran truncated schedules outside of Cup, but damn, 18 NASCAR-sanctioned wins this year and not a single title. That would be rather bunk.

That got us thinking about famous bed-shitting moments across the world of sports and where the potential title-less Busch would fit in. Should this fold-up happen, we'd place it in sporting disasters, tier three. Here's how it plays out in our minds.

Tier #1. The bed, thoroughly shat.

2007 Mets: Lost 12 of their last 17 games. Seven game lead on September 12th gone by season's end. No postseason. South Philadelphia has never been the same.

1992 AFC wild-card, Oilers v. Bills: Frank Reich becomes a quarterback. Enough said.

1999 British Open, Van de Velde: VdV needed a double-bogey on 18 for the win. He triple-bogeyed, then lost in a four-hole playoff to Paul Lawrie. Think Roy McAvoy, but without the guidance of Cheech.

Tier #2. Trace amounts of poo on sheets.

2000 Western Conference Finals, game seven: Portland has a 15-point lead over the Lakers with 10 minutes to go in the fourth. The Blazers then saw Shaq and Kobe go crazy in a 15-0 run, which led the Lakers to win the series.

1986 World Series, game six: Bill Buckner, Sox lose in seven. Would be in tier #1, but Buckner is not solely responsible. He had plenty of help losing that game and the series.

Tier #3. Pants shat upon, bed safe and dry.

1996 Masters, Greg Norman: The Shark had a six-stroke lead going into the final round. He shot a six-over 78, tanking to Nick "don't call me Waldo" Faldo.

2008? NASCAR Sprint Cup Series: Kyle Busch holds point lead for vast majority of "regular" season, only to finish the first Chase event in 34th, never to recover he finishes the season in 12th place, last of all the Chasers. Maybe.

Some might argue with the above list (go fuck yourself), but there's no question that should Busch not win the Cup title, his season would become a contemporary of the aforementioned disasters. Not the biggest meltdown, but list worthy no less.

About this race:

*What to know:


Where/what the hell is Dover? Dover is a high-banked mile track that is located halfway between Philadelphia and Washington DC. The track surface is concrete (which, for those not up with track construction materials, is not the norm). The track has the nickname the Monster Mile, which will be used extensively during the broadcast. ABC may even show the world-famous Dover monster statue which is terrifying as shit.

Gordon is the boss: Jeff Gordon has four career wins and four poles at Dover. He's pretty much a beast at DIS. He captured the pole for Sunday's race (race lineup) and has been competitive since the first practice session of the weekend. He also has an added incentive to perform at Dover. DuPont, Gordon's longtime sponsor, has their world headquarters just up the road in Wilmington, DE. Tax dodgers.

Avoid the little 'big one': Everyone knows that big restrictor plate tracks produce close racing and the inevitable huge wreck. Dover is not a big track and plates aren't used, but the chance for a multi-car accident is almost as high as it is at Daytona or Talladaga. Why? Because it's small and fast. You just don't have the time to get away from an accident. The field is so close, and going so fast you're on top of the accident before you can move from it. Just ask Kevin Harvick about that. He started in the back for the June race at DIS, got into the little 'big one' early on and finished 38th.


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Who to watch:

Jeff Gordon: 19 top-10 finishes for Gordon at Dover. That is a staggering number. 19. Jesus. He starts from the pole and is clearly the favorite to win. He finished fifth at Dover during the June race and is looking to impress those DuPont bigwigs who are traveling to Dover to see their guy. Sleazy sports betting sites have him 8/1 to win. Gotta say, we'd take that.

Greg Biffle: No one expected this guy to do much in The Chase. He made it in, good for him, he'd probably wind up eighth or ninth in the final standings and should be happy about that. Well, Biffle won last week and vaulted himself into third place, only 30-points outside of the lead. He has not finished outside of the top-10 at DIS since 2005 and finished p3 last time NASCAR was in DE. Momentum is a crazy thing.

Kyle Busch: The defending race winner is in dire need of a good run. Should he falter on Sunday his hopes of a title will likely be gone. He is historically good at DIS with five top-10 finishes. He starts 11th.

*For those heading to the track: Pertinent tailgating information is here. FYI, the real party takes place in the nearby Dover Downs Hotel and Casino. You should really hit it up after the race. We'd recommend renting a suite until at least October 10th, when the Dionne Warwick and Friends concert happens. We don't know who the "friends" are, but imagine they'd be special.

The Ridebuyer cocktail of the race is a case of Dogfish Head. Sure, it's a craft beer, and drinking it at a race will surely get your ass beat, but it's from DE! Tell us if it's worth the black eye.

Points:

1 Carl Edwards
2 Jimmie Johnson
3 Greg Biffle
4 Dale Earnhardt Jr.
5 Jeff Burton
6 Denny Hamlin
7 Tony Stewart
8 Kyle Busch
9 Clint Bowyer
10 Kevin Harvick
11 Jeff Gordon
12 Matt Kenseth

Next race: Camping World RV 400 presented by Coleman (Kansas Speedway). This is not to be confused with the Camping World RV 400 presented by AAA. That would be Sunday's race from Dover.

Richard Childress Racing thinks the economy is just fine, thank you. RCR also has a yacht that magically raises the water level for all lesser boats in the ocean. Yes, that was a voodoo economics joke. (scenedaily.com)

The Chaser #1: Sylvania 300

Each week Ridebuyer delves deep into the misunderstood, oft terrifying, world of American saloon-car racing known as NASCAR.

This week: Sylvania 300 (Chase round #1)
TV: ABC 1:00pm EST (Sunday)
Location: New Hampshire Motor Speedway (Loudon, NH)
Distance: 300 laps/317 miles
Past winners: D. Hamlin (7/07); C. Bowyer (9/07); Ku. Busch (6/08).

*How to handle the make-believe playoffs, why Tom Brady made the Loudon crowd tolerable and why we're not watching Sunday's race*

-The next ten weeks will decide who becomes the NASCAR Sprint Cup Champion for the Lord's calender year 2008. Christened the "playoffs" by decision makers inside of the shadowy fortress know as NASCAR headquarters, the new(ish) system was clearly implemented to compete against stick and ball sports in terms of relevancy. A ten week "playoff" during the autumn months generates buzz (whatever the hell that means) for the sport and keeps it on the media radar during a time when professional and collegiate football gets rolling and baseball becomes entertaining. Or so the theory goes.

Whichever one of the France's came up with this idea is really off base.

Save the die hard base of the sport, there is too much competition for viewers and spectators to jump aboard the racing "playoff" train.

The casual sports fan, hell, even the casual racing fan, is far more likely to watch a Sunday afternoon NFL game than a "Chase" race. Right? We say yes.

A valid argument could be made that stock car racing fans and stick and ball types are two completely exclusive sects of folks who will never, under any circumstance, follow a sport that is not what they currently follow. A guy who watches baseball, takes his scorebook to games and understands what the hell OPS is, is not going to split his time in October to watch a saloon car race from Martinsville.

It's all a matter of competition. NASCAR should not compete with the NFL or (to a lesser extent) MLB. That's a fight that cannot be won. NFL games are the big dicks of TV ratings, and MLB

games, with their mostly tepid ratings, are still a cash cow for game attendance. It is a crowded marketplace and America's racing series is, if not careful, going to fall through the cracks.

Knocking ten races off of the Sprint Cup calender solves this issue. The season is far too long to begin with, straining teams and making people lose track of the sport. Who remembers this season's Daytona 500? It was in fucking February. The is season is still going. That's ridiculous. It has become a full time job to follow the damn series. In case you didn't know: jobs suck.

If the NASCAR brass want to keep the "playoffs," fine. Just have The Chase end this weekend, instead of start. That way we can crown a champ, and be done with it by the time NFL week three rolls around.

But for now, we'll just have to wait and pretend to care until the end of goddamn November. Don't fear, will be with you each race of the way. If this is your first Chase, our only advice is to have a healthy supple of booze on hand for the races and don't, under any circumstances, change the channel. If you stumble across a football game, you may not be able to flip back. The horror.

Note: 40-oz cozy = race necessity.

-Hopefully the Tom Brady injury will shut the droves of smug New Englanders who travel to NASCAR's northernmost race the fuck up. NHMS is the only foray for the Sprint Cup into the great north wilderness and that's almost certainly because of the general douchebagery of the population. Everybody not from New England hates New England and anything to knock those 'r' dropping bastards down a few pegs is awesome. Take that Tom. Any Bostonians thinking of driving up to see the race, you may want to b.y.o. as they don't sell Sam Adams track side.

-We hope Sunday's race sucks, because we're not going to see it. That's because RB is going on a roadtrip. Destination? The brand new New Jersey Motorsports Park. We'll be slumming the Jersey turnpike to catch the Atlantic and Star Mazda events on Sunday. Hopefully these broads will swing by after their weekend in Seaside Heights. Bada. Bing.

About this race:

*What to know:

Line 'em up on points: Rain has washed away the qualifying session for Sunday's race. That means the field is set by owner points. The top-12 is all Chase drivers, so the people who actually matter will start up front. Not, that starting position is all to critical at NHMS, as Kurt Busch won the last event starting in 26th. Starting Grid.

Christ in a stock car makes first start: Joey Logano is making his first career Cup start on Sunday and will roll off the grid in 40th. If you haven't heard of Logano you clearly don't give a shit about stock car racing and the future of the sport. He is touted as the most talented driver to come thorough the ranks in years, if not ever. Mark Martin said he could be a competitive Cup driver when Logano was in karts. In 12 Nationwide Series starts this season, he has nine top-10s and one win. Sunday, he will be driving the Hall of Fame Racing No. 96 Toyota as one of six Cup races this season planned for the teenager. Logano will be a 2009 rookie next season when he takes over Tony Stewart's No. 20 Toyota at JGR. Does the youngster fold under the pressure and return to the life of a normal 18-year old wrought with smoking cigarettes, reading The Catcher in the Rye and constantly masturbating? Probably not.

"Hot" Carl v. Busch, (Chase) round one: The biggest storyline of late has been the arrival of "Hot" Carl Edwards as a legit contender for the championship. Kyle Busch looked to have a lock on the title just six weeks ago, but Edwards and crew have opened things up right in time for the "playoffs." It also helps the interest factor because both guys appear to hate each other. Nothing says NASCAR like a good old fashion rivalry. Yee Haw.

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Who to watch:

The Chasers: Starting The Chase off in a hole is not the way to find success come November. Being behind the eightball after race #1 is an easy way to quell championship aspirations. So, watch the top-12 and see how many (if any) fuck this race up. Refresher. Here's the playoff guys: 1 Kyle Busch 2 Carl Edwards 3 Jimmie Johnson 4 Dale Earnhardt Jr. 5 Clint Bowyer 6 Denny Hamlin 7 Jeff Burton 8 Tony Stewart 9 Greg Biffle 10 Jeff Gordon 11 Kevin Harvick 12 Matt Kenseth.

The Field: See if anyone can play spoiler come Sunday. Yes, look for the Washington Nationals of NASCAR. Ryan Newman, Brian Vickers and Kasey Kahne could all toss a wrench into the well placed plans of Chase teams. Also, watch the aforementioned Logano, plus Kurt Busch has had success at NHMS in the past.

*For those heading to the track: Pertinent tailgating information is here. The 14 inch or less cooler restrictions will enforced with an iron fist.

The Ridebuyer cocktail of the race the queer craft beer of your choice. You must drink it while looking down on others who are enjoying lesser brews.

Points:

1 Kyle Busch
2 Carl Edwards
3 Jimmie Johnson
4 Dale Earnhardt Jr.
5 Clint Bowyer
6 Denny Hamlin
7 Jeff Burton
8 Tony Stewart
9 Greg Biffle
10 Jeff Gordon
11 Kevin Harvick
12 Matt Kenseth

Next race: Camping World RV 400 presented by AAA (Dover International Speedway). A NASCAR race with an on site casino? God Bless you.

NASCAR's doping scandal?

Remember the day when the Mitchell Report was released? Droves of sporting fans (us included) could not wait to peruse the juicing manifesto to see if their hero's had indulged in taboo ointments and performance enhancing shots in the ass.

Sure, the guys that everyone expected were listed in the report. The Canseco, Bonds and Giambi's of the world were called out. But the best was getting to read the names that made everyone shake their collective heads. (Ahem. Paul Byrd. Ahem.) Guys like Mike Stanton and Paul LoDuca, if truly using, must have been doing something wrong. They must have been injecting the ointments or smoking something that should have been shot-up. Or something. Mike Stanton? Really?

Well, America's favorite saloon car racing series now has an absurd performance enhancing drug allegation story of their own. It revolves around defending NASCAR Craftsman Truck champion Ron Hornaday and shipments of testosterone and human growth hormone. Sweet.

Hornaday says the testosterone was used to treat a hyperactive thyroid.

NASCAR officials are determining if this constitutes a violation of their drug policy.

All Hornaday needs to do is write a book about finding Christ and battling a porn addiction, and he will be Paul Byrd.

Trucks champ Hornaday admits using testosterone

New N'wide Challenger looks like a Challenger!

Stolen from the Blogosphere this morning, the guys at Jalopnik posted pictures of the new Dodge Challenger Nationwide machine. The car is built to CoT specs and is set to debut next season. NASCAR has apparently relaxed on some of the body restrictions for the new N'wide machines and the result is a car that actually looks similar to a Dodge Challenger. How could this car possibly lose to a Taurus or Camry?

**RICHMOND UPDATE**

As predicted in our race preview, there has been a scheduling change for this weekend's NASCAR events at RIR.

Saturday night's Sprint Cup race was postponed until 1 p.m on Sunday.

Tonight's Nationwide Series race was also postponed. It will run at 7 p.m. on Sunday.

Damn you Tropical Storm Hanna! You made our entire weather related preview seem silly....

Chevy Rock & Roll 400 preview

Each week Ridebuyer delves deep into the misunderstood, oft terrifying, world of American saloon-car racing known as NASCAR.

This week: Chevy Rock & Roll 400
TV: ABC 7:00pm EST (Saturday)
Location: Richmond International Raceway (Richmond, VA)
Distance: 300 miles/400 laps
Past winners: J. Johnson (5/07); J. Johnson (9/07); C. Bowyer (5/08).


*Who makes The Chase and some hurricane related humor and forecasting*

-Remember when Bill Nye the Science Guy did "Consider the Following..." segments near the end of his shows? We sure do. It was one of the highlights of the show that, thinking back on it, were always the same, regardless of the episode. Each program seemed to revolve around baking soda and crash test car wreck footage. Every. Single. Show.

We can distinctly remember watching Science Guy in 9th grade biology class. We sat behind Jenna, who was a mature woman in the 10th grade. She smoked Marlboro Milds in the parking lot between classes and wore thongs before it was the social norm of the girls in our grade. To say she was the fancy of guys in Mr. Schuster's 3rd period class would be a drastic understatement. (Clearly intellectual prowess was not taken into account by the horn-goats in that class. Jenna was almost certainly was dumb as fuck. Clearly she failed the same class one year prior, thus leading her to the position of 'mature woman'.)

Well, the majority of our time in that class was split between the following: staring at the undergarments of Jenna, quoting Top Gun, and watching Bill Nye the Science Guy. In that order.

Needless to say, save for the few and far between music videos (see below), "Consider the Following..." was the highlight of the program that overwhelmingly occupied the science portion of Schuster's class.



We tip our collective hats to Mr. (Dr.?) Nye. Certainly many folks share similar fond memories of that show.

In that vain, (and because you need to be a fucking scientist to figure out The Chase point system) we invite you to Consider the Following... (About Saturday's final race before The Chase, that is)-

Consider:

Technically speaking, seven drivers are jockeying for five remaining positions in The Chase. Those drivers are Tony Stewart, Matt Kenseth, Jeff Gordon, Denny Hamlin, Clint Bowyer, David Ragan and Kasey Kahne. However, barring some crazy shit happening, the real race for the final Chase spot will be between Bowyer, Ragan and Kahne. The rest of the field is pretty much locked into the playoffs. It's Bowyer who holds the precarious p12 going into Saturday's event, leading Ragan by 17 points. Kahne is 48 points adrift of Bowyer and 31 points from Ragan. That's your race right there.

Consider:

In three of the last four seasons, a driver outside the field of 12 has raced his way in at Richmond: Jeremy Mayfield did it in '04, Ryan Newman in '05 and Kasey Kahne in '06. Historically speaking, this would indicate Clint Bowyer is not in a favorable spot.

Consider:

Bowyer won the first Richmond race of the year and has never finished outside of the top-12 at RIR. Kahne has one RIR win (2005) but his average finishing spot is only 17.3. Ragan is only making his third career start at RIR. Historically speaking, this would indicate Clint Bowyer is in a favorable spot.

Considering over.

-Does Bill Nye know anything about weather patterns? How about hurricanes in particular? If he does, the science Czar would surely tell you this race has exactly zero chance of being run on Saturday night. Tropical Storm Hanna is expected to hit the greater Richmond-area on Saturday, and that sounds like it could produce some moisture. The Weather Channel says there is a 100% chance of precipitation in Richmond through Saturday night. We'll help you out, Richmond is in one the green areas below.

We're thinking the race will likely play itself out on Sunday.

Insert Katrina joke...Here.

About this race:

*What to know:

Lame Duckiness: The drivers who are already locked into The Chase have little incentive to do well at this race (you know, aside from the sizable purse, glory associated with winning a Cup event and the bonus points awarded for winning a race that carry into The Chase). This event really comes down to Bowyer, Ragan and Kahne fighting for the final playoff spot. Unless Kyle Busch wrecks Carl Edwards, there will be few other story lines to follow. Sorry.

*Who to watch:

Clint Bowyer: Currently in Chase. Could be bounced out of Chase.

David Ragan: Currently not in Chase. Could bounce into Chase

Kasey Kahne: Ibid.

*For those heading to the track: Pertinent tailgating information is here. Because of the apocalyptic rains being expected for the entire eastern U.S., we'd be leery of parking in grass lots on RIR's rounds. There is nothing worse than getting thoroughly boozed-up before a race, sitting through a long rain delay, have the race cancelled, be hangover by the time you get back to your car, then find out that your dually is hopelessly stuck in the Virgina clay. Been there, done that. We recommend finding something -not race related- to do on Saturday, then regroup for Sunday's rain date.

The Ridebuyer cocktail of the race is the movie Cocktail. Watch it on Saturday when the race gets cancelled. It stars Tom Cruise, Elisabeth Shue and some guy with an accent who kills himself in the end. It's phenomenally bad.





Points:

1 Kyle Busch
2 Carl Edwards
3 Jimmie Johnson
4 Dale Earnhardt Jr.
5 Jeff Burton
6 Greg Biffle
7 Kevin Harvick
8 Tony Stewart
9 Matt Kenseth
10 Jeff Gordon
11 Denny Hamlin
12 Clint Bowyer

Next race: Sylvania 300 (New Hampshire Motor Speedway). In your best Jim Mora voice, let us all ring in the "playoffs?" commencing.

Rowdy holeshots The Sarge

Kyle Busch seems to be infallible. He has won 18 times in NASCAR's three national divisions and leads the Sprint Cup Series with eight victories this season. He is also quite the little drag racer.

Earlier this week, Busch, along with perhaps the greatest Top Fuel racer ever, Tony Schumacher, went to the new zMAX Dragway at Concord for a promotional match race before the NHRA event in two weeks.

Racing identically prepped Camry pace cars, Busch took the first heat over Schumacher in a holeshot, Schumacher then went red on race two. The event culminated with Busch's .102-second RT and 14.544 ET, which again resulted in a holeshot loss for The Sarge.

Ouch.

Had this been an episode of Pinks, Schumacher would have lost his ride.

Busch, Schumacher Battle at zMAX Dragway

Pepsi 500 preview

Each week Ridebuyer delves deep into the misunderstood, oft terrifying, world of American saloon-car racing known as NASCAR.

This week: Pepsi 500

TV: ESPN 7:00pm EST (Sunday)
Location: Auto Club Speedway (Fontana, CA)
Distance: 500 miles/250 laps
Past winners: M. Kenseth (2/07); J. Johnson (9/07); C. Edwards (2/08).

*Racing on a Sunday night, Chase-isms and the history of the "Hot Carl" *

The weather in SoCal dictates that Fontana's second Cup race is a night affair. There is no possible way to wage this race in the afternoon heat of greater-LA in August. Fans would be keeling over in the stands and reaching the brink of heat-induced delirium and hallucinations before the ceremonial flyover of Navy F-37whatevers. The crews and drivers would, of course, deal with the oppressive heat as they are being paid to sweat their respective balls off in three-layer nomex jumpers. It is the fans that would suffer, as they would be expected to spend valuable cash for the honor of getting a sun burn. We, (you know, the editorial we) got a sun burn in Florida a month ago and thought our skin was going to separate itself from the bones and other inner workings of our body. That shit hurts. And we didn't have to suffer the indignity of paying money to get ass raped by the sun.

So, merciful NASCAR contests this particular race at night. That's not terribly noteworthy as many events get the under-the-lights treatment. But, not many get the Sunday under-the-lights treatment. That's because most people have to go to work/school on Mondays, thus the prospects of watching or attending a 500-mile motor race that will undoubtedly stretch into the wee hours of Monday morning (EST, that is) is not very appealing. Labor Day weekend is the perfect fit, with Monday void of any activity save pounding beer until the grill need lit. But, the advantage doesn't stop there. It's "two fold" as they say. The second fold rhymes with football. This is kickoff weekend for college f-ball and NASCAR would be crazy to stage a race against that.

Consider: Because of the aforementioned climate concerns, this weekend's race must happen at night. Typically... NASCAR schedules Cup night races on Saturday evenings. If that were to happen in this case, the race would be opposite a host of games including Alabama v. Clemson, Illinois v. Missouri and the highlight of our kickoff weekend, Cal Poly v. San Diego State. NASCAR, you don't want to/can't compete with that shit.

-This is race #25 of 36 in the Sprint Cup schedule. More importantly, after Sunday night's race, there will be only one event left until the field for The Chase is set in stone. Thanks to the stat crunching abilities of the crack staff over at nascar.com, here is a handy chart to determine who could, conceivably, make or not make the playoffs. Note that "ACS" is the Auto Club Speedway. Here to help.

Pos.	Driver	Points	Behind	ACS Starts	ACS Wins	ACS Avg. Finish
6.	Tony Stewart	3013	-596	14	0	16.0
7.	Greg Biffle	2984	-625	11	1	19.6
8.	Kevin Harvick	2972	-637	12	0	19.1
9.	Jeff Gordon	2951	-658	16	3	11.2
10.	Matt Kenseth	2921	-688	13	2	9.9
11.	Denny Hamlin	2900	-709	5	0	17.8
12.	Clint Bowyer	2855	-754	5	0	12.4
13.	David Ragan	2843	-766	3	0	14.0
14.	Kasey Kahne	2799	-810	9	1	13.7
15.	Ryan Newman	2674	-935	11	0	18.6

There are your bubble drivers. Keep an eye on them, if inclined.

-Other Chase points of interest:

Nine drivers could clinch spots in The Chase on Sunday.

Any driver who leaves Fontana with a 196-point (or more) advantage over the driver in point position 13 will have clinched a Chase spot.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.-- Can clinch with a finish of 40th or better; 41st and lead at least one lap.

Jimmie Johnson -- Can clinch with a finish of 40th or better; 41st and lead at least one lap.

Jeff Burton -- Can clinch with a finish of 15th or better; 16th or 17th and lead one lap; 20th and lead the most laps.

By the Numbers: California (Nascar.com)

-Carl Edwards is on quite the tear. As we've said previously, he appears to be "peaking" at the right time this season and has to be considered the favorite heading into The Chase. It's been six races since Edwards' finished outside of the the top-10. It's been this string of consistent performances that has led us to christen him "Hot" Carl. Makes sense, right? Turns out, this has a duel meaning. Check it out. (NSFW. Unless your work deals with shitting in girls faces, that is.) Way to go Carl.

View Larger Map

About this race:

*What to know:

Busch v. "Hot" Carl, the next Kimbo v. Shamrock?: In a word, no. The two played wreck-um after the Bristol race and were subsequently placed on "probation" by NASCAR. Despite the fact that NASCAR "probation" does nothing and no further penalties will be levied against the two regardless of their future on track conduct, they are not going to repeat the shenanigans of last weekend. First, the Auto Club Speedway is far too fast of a circuit to take revenge. No one is going to wreck someone at 200-mph. That is how appendages get forcibly separated from bodies. Second, with the way The Chase is formulated, regular-season race wins are too important to toss away on a vendetta. If either drivers are challenging for the "W" on Sunday (which they both will be), then they will keep their respective noses clean. Sorry wreck mongers.

Ford v. Toyota, the next Kimbo v. Shamrock?: In a word, maybe. The first half of the season was dominated by the foreign marque and now the lads from MI are getting nasty. "Hot" Carl v. Busch is a mildly interesting subplot, the real drama comes from USA v. Japan, Good v. Evil, Traditional Stock Car Racing v. Contemporary NASCAR, etc. That is the real intrigue as the season winds down. Think larger scale than the battle between two drivers or even the battle between two teams. Hopefully the tiff continues on Sunday.

*Who to watch:

Kyle Busch: Remains point-leader (and is locked as such until The Chase starts), has one Cup victory at ACS and has not finished outside of the top-10 there since the winter race in 2005. He has seven career wins on intermediate tracks and his JGR Toyota has been the class of the field every week. Busch's inclusion in "Who to watch" has officially become redundant and silly.

Carl Edwards: Where there's a Busch, there's a "Hot" Carl in close pursuit. Edwards has amassed an nearly incredible record at ACS. Since his first SoCal race in 2004, he has finished outside of the top-10 exactly once. He has finished outside of the top-five exactly twice. His average ACS finishing spot is a staggering 6.8. RFR regularly dominates intermediate tracks and will be a force come Sunday evening.

Denny Hamlin: Currently in The Chase. That could change unless he has a solid effort on Sunday. He will. While never winning at ACS, Hamlin is historically solid at similar tracks. He needed a good result last weekend to get back into the top-12, he got it, and now needs a repeat performance. We've got a good feeling about young Denny.

*For those heading to the track: Pertinent tailgating information is here. We think this could be a bit of a moot point, as people in Southern California probably don't tailgate anything beside USC games. But, we also don't think people in Southern California would go to a NASCAR race. So, what do we know?

The Ridebuyer cocktail of the race is the Cali-Barn Banger. That's a bottle of beer with a shot of SPF 30. It tastes like shit, but your throat will be moisturized like nobody's business.

Points:

1	--	Kyle Busch
2	--	Carl Edwards
3	+1	Dale Earnhardt Jr.
4	-1	Jimmie Johnson
5	--	Jeff Burton
6	--	Tony Stewart
7	--	Greg Biffle
8	--	Kevin Harvick
9	--	Jeff Gordon
10	--	Matt Kenseth
11	+1	Denny Hamlin
12	+1	Clint Bowyer

Next race: Chevy Rock & Roll 400 (Richmond International Raceway). This race is named after the presenting sponsor. Rick Derringer.