Samsung 500 preview

Each week Ridebuyer delves deep into the misunderstood, oft terrifying, world of American saloon-car racing known as NASCAR.

This week: Texas. Where everything is bigger. (And this guy lives.)

TV: Fox 1:30pm EST
Location: Texas Motor Speedway (Fort Worth, TX)
Distance: 500 miles/334 laps
2007 Texas winners: J. Burton (spring race); J. Johnson (fall race).


*What to know:
Fast things happen in Texas. Why? you ask. Because Texas is fucking huge. Have you ever driven anywhere Texas? If you need to get somewhere in that God-forsaken state and happen to find yourself not already in the place you need to be, you're in for a trek. Even the simplest of travel activities can become a death march in Texas. Driving from town to town at anything less than triple-digit speeds is likely to suck the life from your day and spoil any time sensitive plans you were stupid enough to make. A quick drive to the grocery store? Four hours. Need to rent a movie? Two hours to your neighborhood Blockbuster. Looking to score some Rx pills or knockoff purses'? Well, Mexico is surprisingly close (Juarez is less than 30-minutes away from every major city in Texas, if I'm reading this map correctly).

Driving fast is a way of life in Texas. Vast expanses of highway (and no laws to speak of) leads to pickup trucks that barrel down the middle of the road, hell bent on bump drafting your family's AreoStar back to Abilene. If the old adage the speed kills is true, than Texas is full of murderers. Maybe that's the cause of the Texans' infatuation with the death penalty. It could also be the reason why 100,000 fans will pack the Texas Motor Speedway on Sunday for a stockcar race.

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The satellite view of the track fails to give a perspective that shows the corner banking. (Because it's a satellite, dumbass) This track features 24-degrees of slope in the corners, making the course the 1.5 mile circuit equivalent of Bristol. To put is in perspective, the now-defunct Champ Car series attempted to race at this track in 2001 but the event had to be canceled after drivers became dizzy and disorientated after weekend practice sessions. Granted, the Champ Cars were lapping the circuit about 40mph faster than a stockcar could ever dream of going, but the track certainly means business. Case in point: See the remains of Michael McDowell's car after Friday's qualifying wreck. Gross.

*Who to watch:

Tony Stewart: Old Smoke has yet to wheel his Camry (the still sounds incredibly gay) into victory lane. His teammates at Joe Gibbs Racing have all managed a tally a win this season, and Stewart is a is likely feeling the itch to join his mates. Stewart his seven career top-10 finishes at Texas Motor Speedway and one victory (fall race, 2006). It's no secret that fast tracks light Stewart's fire. He has to work his way to the front from mid pack (starting 24th) Sunday, but remains a guy to keep an eye on.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Junior joins Stewart in the sick group of drivers that seem most adept at racing on fast, high-banked ovals. Atlanta is Earnhardt's favorite track, and that course's similarity to Texas is staggering. He is forth in points going into Sunday's race (the highest of Hendrick Motorsport's four entries), and has a three top five finishes at Texas with one win. Add that to his starting position Sunday-the pole- and we have a clear favorite.

Jeff Burton: The current series' points leader has two career wins at Texas including a 'W' from the last time the Cup guys were in Fort Worth. Burton's lowest finish of the year has been 13th, and he has two straight top five finishes (including a win at Bristol). He starts 35th on Sunday (wait, that's not that too good), but expect him to hook up with Stewart and move from back to front.

*Dark Horse*

Juan Montoya: The foreign-guy starts 11th on Sunday, and has shown speed at Texas in his limited Lone-Star experience. (He has a top-10 in his two career starts and an average finish of 16.5. He qualified third for the fall race last season.) He is, well, a dark horse.

*For those heading to the track:

The Texas Motor Speedway wants you to have fun while at the track. Here is your tailgating information. Pack your cooler and have a gas in the grandstands. For those with hemorrhoid issues, the track does allow ass cushions. George Brett is thankful.

Traffic seems to be an issue around the track, so be prepared to wait whilst waiting to get to the parking lots. Also, some Ridebuyer editors (okay, it was me) had their (my) Dodge Neon rental car hit in the TMS parking lot in 2000 during the IRL race. The bastard drove off. Be advised, Texas race fans are criminals.

*Series points:

1. Jeff Burton
2. Kevin Harvick
3. Greg Biffle
4. Dale Earnhardt Jr.
5. Kyle Busch
6. Tony Stewart
7. Kasey Kahne
8. Denny Hamlin
9. Jeff Gordon
10. Jimmie Johnson
11. Ryan Newman
12. Clint Bowyer

*Next Week, Phoenix. More Mexican jokes? I think so.

IndyCar season preview-part IV

Taking it team-by-team (must be read and hummed aloud to the cadence of the Micheal McDonald hit of the similar name).

Ridebuyer is happy to present the following team-by-team look into the 2008 IRL IndyCar season. Feel free to print the subsequent posts and compile your own personal Ridebuyer media guide. (Seriously, if anyone does this, DUI yourself into the nearest pond. Immediately.)

In this post, the ex-pats!: KV Racing Technology and Newman/Haas/Lanigan Racing.

KV Racing Technology:

What to Know:

We'll call KV the second-best Champ Car ex-pats making a go of it this IndyCar season. They are well-funded, have bright guys running the program and have a veteran driver with oval experience. They come to the fray sporting the cockpit services of Oriol Servia (the vet) and Will Power. Of course, Newman/Haas/Lanigan would have to be considered the cream of the newbie-crop, but the gap between the movie star's team and KV may not be as expansive as some think. For starters, the driver lineup for KV may be stronger than what NHLR has. Servia is a known quantity. While never competing in an IRL event, he did attempt a qualifying run at Indy in 2002 for Walker, and showed speed on ovals in the CART days. As for Will Power, well, he is a beast in the making. Without the merger, Power would be battling for a Champ Car title this season. He had victories at Toronto and Vegas in 2007 and if he can figure out how to run an oval in traffic he will compete with anyone.

This team was formed so recently, they have no website. That makes finding info on crew members a tad challenging. (Sorry, Ridebuyer does not have a Rolodex filled with the bios of tire changers. Though it would have helped when we blew a Goodyear on I95 last year.) But, we are confidant that all of the crew guys are not only experienced, but professional and have a savant-type knowledge of Honda engines and Dallara chassis. Why wouldn't they? Jimmy Vasser wouldn't hire slack-jawed mules.

The only possible sticking point Ridebuyer sees in future of KV revolves around their new funding-buddy, Australian wine mogul Graig Gore. Robin Miller questions his integrity. That means we must also. To be fair, Gore screwed Darrick Walker. That means Miller can call him whatever he pleases. No questions asked. Scroll to 1:40 in the clip to hear Vasser's comments on his new partner and his shady-past.




*We wanted to show the Windtunnel clip that featured the entire Robin Miller interview from last week (where he called Craig Gore a criminal), but it was mysteriously removed from Speedtv.com... Could the slander police have paid a visit?

Summation:

KV is no joke. They have two drivers who should be up to speed on ovals quickly and will be competitive on road/street courses immediately. Jimmy Vasser is bright racing guy and is proving that in his ownership role. His partner (Kevin Kalkhoven) seems to know, well, software. (Oh, and how to merge two racing series'). So long as Gore doesn't flake out on the vineyard money, they will be alright.

Newman/Haas/Lanigan:

What to know:

This team is the ex-Champ Car equivalent of current-day Penske or Ganassi. They are the all-stars, the studs and the girl everyone wants to fuck in high school, all wrapped in one. They were the perennial championship favorites in Champ Car, and had the series not dissolved, likely would have secured another title with Justin Wilson this year. NHLR brings Wilson and Graham Rahal to the IndyCar Series for the merge-year, both accomplished; one came from F1, another is on his way. The transition for the team to the IndyCar Series has not been easy. The team missed the Sebring test (the team cited a lack of parts), and Rahal wadded a car in the Homestead oval test, forcing his entry to be withdrawal from the race, the team again citing a lack of chassis parts. (Irony. Team owner Carl Haas has said on many occasions that he has $2 million worth of new -now useless- chassis parts for the Panoz DP01 in storage. And, during his time as the distributor of Lola parts in America, Champ Car teams complained Haas never had the innovatory of parts they needed. Full circle.)

Summation:

This team should be competing for race wins on road/street courses. Wilson will get up to speed faster on ovals than Rahal (We think he'll be in F1 in two seasons, so don't fret). Rahal wont need too much time to find his feet. (You'd expect this from the most talented American-born racing driver in 20 years. How's that for a Ridebuyer endorsement?) To put his age into perspective, Rahal graduated from high school last year, and was born three years after his Pop won Indy. Holy shit, everyone in the world (minus Rahal, of course) is old as dirt.

IndyCar season preview-part III

Taking it team-by-team (must be read and hummed aloud to the cadence of the Micheal McDonald hit of the similar name).

Ridebuyer is happy to present the following team-by-team look into the 2008 IRL IndyCar season. Feel free to print the subsequent posts and compile your own personal Ridebuyer media guide. (Seriously, if anyone does this, DUI yourself into the nearest pond. Immediately.)

In this post: Dreyer & Reinbold Racing and HVM Racing.

Dreyer & Reinbold:

What to Know:

Unlike the two previous teams outlined (Conquest and Coyne), D&R are part of the IRL old-guard. The team principle Dennis Reinbold is pretty well known throughout Indianapolis for his car dealerships (yeah, he's kind-of a big deal), and started his IndyCar outfit in 1999. Robbie Buhl drove for the team until he stepped into the ownership role he now has. For this season the team has three drivers under contract. Buddy Rice, Townsend Bell and Milka Duno. Rice will run the entire schedule, while Bell and Duno will tag-team the other entry. (D&R say they will run the trio at Indy.) Duno will start the season at Homestead, with Bell seemingly to pick up the slack at road/street courses. Ridebuyer wonders aloud as to why Duno runs exclusively ovals in the IndyCar Series as she has shown her ineptness time after time turning left. She comes from a road racing background, and might (a big might, by the way) feel more comfortable on similar tracks. Just a thought. Kudos to the team for running Rice (who dispite winning the Indy 500 still gets overlooked) and Bell (same deal as Rice, just minus Indy). And hey, Duno pays the bills with that fat Citgo check (thank you Hugo Chavez).

Summation:

The team hopes Rice and Bell can have enough success to offset the damage bill Duno will run up. That means, Rice must win Indy and Bell must podium in all street/road events. A tall order. Seriously, the team should be able to run top ten with Rice everywhere, and top fives for Bell and Rice off of the ovals is possible. Duno will wreck (at least Ashley Judd wont be around to bitch about it though, that was annoying). We will leave you with this... Why are Milka Duno's nostrils so close together?... That's not a setup for a joke, we really want to know. Seriously, it weirds us out.

HVM Racing:

What to know:

In the spirit of full disclosure, we only know the following about HVM Racing:

Keith Wiggins is the owner.

The team was purchased from the old Bettenhausen Racing remnants

The Minardi guy was somehow involved with the squad last year.

That's about it. They won some races in Champ Car (including an oval race with Ryan Hunter- Reay). And that pretty much covers it. As for their driver Ernesto Viso, well... We know less. So instead of bullshitting everyone by making up some malarkey about his road racing prowess, do us all a favor and follow the above link. Read about him yourself, don't be lazy. He may even be interesting... For more information about the team and their driver, give HVM a call @ 317-524-3995. I'm sure they would be happy to talk to a fan. Tell 'em Ridebuyer sent you.

Summation:

Struggle. Lets hope he doesn't wad a car up in Homestead, because that would likely write-off St. Pete. Good luck though.

IndyCar season preview-part II

Taking it team-by-team (must be read and hummed aloud to the cadence of the Micheal McDonald hit of the similar name).

Ridebuyer is happy to present the following team-by-team look into the 2008 IRL IndyCar season. Feel free to print the subsequent posts and compile your own personal Ridebuyer media guide. (Seriously, if anyone does this, DUI yourself into the nearest pond. Immediately.)

In this post: Conquest Racing and Dale Coyne Racing.

Conquest:

What to Know:

Eric Bachelart's team finds itself in the same boat as the other former-Champ Car squads attempting to make the big IndyCar "switch." Aside from having two drivers with zero oval experience (Franck Perera and Enrique Bernoldi-more info on Bernoldi here), the team also has had nearly no time to develop (if that's what you call it) and test their new IndyCar equipment before Saturday night's season opener in Miami. That said, the team has experence with ovals in the sense that Bachelart and co. ran in the IRL in 2002 (Can you say Laurent Redon?) before returning to Champ Car and solely concentrating on three-day festivals o' speed.

As for the drivers, Bernoldi has a decent amount of F1 experience and Perera finished second in the Atlantic Championship last season. It is a given that both drivers were able to parlay these rides with considerable um, personal sponsorship. But, it is what it is.

Summation:

Eric Bachelart is a true racer. He has never had a lewd amount of funding to make things happen the easy way for his team (or even when he was a driver, for that matter). The team should be able to adapt, and the process will be made easier by some longtime crew members who have been around the block in racing. (Including this guy, who I'm told looks like me.) Top ten finishes on road/street courses for Conquest team seems equitable enough. On ovals, battling with likes of Roth and Duno is likely.

Dale Coyne Racing:

What to know:

Much of what was said about Bachelart can be applied to Dale Coyne. He has been around the open-wheel world for some time, and has never had tons of cash to make things simple. Despite what the Coyne Racing link on IndyCar.com says, DCR will field two cars this season. Bruno Junqueira (playing to role of grizzled-veteran) has one mount, while Mario Moraes (the brash, unknown rookie trying to make a name for himself) will steer the team-car. If this seems oddly familiar to you, you are not alone. Coyne clearly ripped-off the storyline of Driven when assembling his team:

Sly, er Junqueira, that is, has the most oval experience of any Champ Car refuge and was bloody quick in his experiences in the 500. (Pole in 2002, led 12-laps in 2004, four career starts total.) As for Jimmy Bly (or Mario Moraes, whatever), he is young, really young. Like born in 1988, young. He does not have much (any) experience in high-horsepower cars, coming from various F3 series' and much karting. Ovals will be an issue (see a theme here?). Aside from that, I'm told the ladies think he is dreamy... Can't argue with that.

Summation:

Much like Conquest, top tens on road/street circuits are possible for the Coyne crowd. Junqueira could go higher and could surprise at Indy come May. The huge ace-in-hole for this team is Bruno, as he can likely set-up the car for Moraes and help him attempt to unlock the secrets with regards to oval-related whathaveyous. Hey, anyone who started their racing team running SCCA in the 70's, and and has been in Indy-type cars ever since 1984 (without funding from drug running), well, you Dale Coyne might be Ridebuyer's hero.

IndyCar season preview

Taking it team-by-team (must be read and hummed aloud to the cadence of the Micheal McDonald hit of the similar name).

Ridebuyer is happy to present the following team-by-team look into the 2008 IRL IndyCar season. Feel free to print the subsequent posts and compile your own personal Ridebuyer media guide. (Seriously, if anyone does this, DUI yourself into the nearest pond. Immediately.)

In this post: A.J. Foyt Enterprises and Andretti Green Racing.

A.J. Foyt Enterprises-

What to know:

Super Tex's one-car outfit has Darren Manning returning for his second season with the team. Manning's #14 finished last season with a few strong runs including a career-tying high forth place at Detroit. The team was restructured last season with A.J.'s son Larry assuming a larger role in day-to-day operations, maybe adding some life into the sometimes flaccid outfit. Expect the team to run well on road and street courses as well as short ovals.

Despite A.J. personally out-dating the internal combustion engine, his team has some youthful faces, which is pretty cool. (Much of the over-the-wall crew look like they would have a tough time ordering a drink in a Bolivian brothel.) Speaking of booze, the team retains secondary sponsorship from Cabo Wabo Tequila. This would be awesome, but Sammy Hagar has weired us out since "I can't drive 55" was used in Back to the Future II in the soundtrack for the alternate 1985 scenes.

Summation:

Don't expect wins, but podiums are certainly attainable. Manning is more than capable of competing with any driver in the series. But, who knows? If the team is near the front at the end of an event they could backdoor a 'W.' Oh, just don't use the term backdoor around A.J., he doesn't like the queer-talk.

Andretti Green Racing-

What to know:

The four-car uber-team is back and just as uber as ever. Series champ and Indy winner Dario Franchitti has hit the bricks and the squad has enlisted the services of one Hideki Mutoh to fill the void. Yes, Mutoh is a rookie in the IndyCar Series, but the team is proven and Mutoh has shown that he is not your typical Honda-funded boner. Joining Mutoh is the trio of Danica Patrick, Tony Kanaan, and Marco Andretti. All clearly have the equipment to win races this season, yet only Kanaan and Marco are likely to. This is not to completely write off the rookie and the broad. Mutoh could set the world on fire (?), and Danica has the strange ability to race Indianapolis like a beast. She will be competitive as shit come May.

Summation:

The team will be competitive on all tracks the IndyCar Series competes. They are well-funded and occasionally well-managed. Kanaan has to do the brunt of the development work for the entire team since his vet-buddy Franchitti has left. More work? Yes. Can he do it? You bet. Kanaan is a championship contender right out of the gate. Marco wins a race. (Probably a road or street event.) Danica and Mutoh? Your guess is as good as mine.

*Ed. note: If the world was fair, Danica Patrick would be excluded from contention of all racing events for the calender year 2008 solely because of the music that plays when you go to her website. Holy shit, that is dismal.