Monday, April 7, 2008

When I was 19, it was a very good year

After much analysis, dissection and, frankly, gushing the reality of Graham Rahal's win Sunday in St. Petersburg is now beginning to set in. The racing clich├ęs have been expelled and discussed ad nauseam, and the self-described experts have all had fair time to chime in regarding the youngster's performance.

Since the dust has settled on the biggest (on-track) IndyCar story of the short season, Ridebuyer feels compelled to take a walk down memory lane. Like the elderly incontinent man who feeds pigeons in the park, we will paint you a picture of days gone by. We are taking a trip back to a simpler time. A time when the McRib captured the imagination of both fat and skinny alike, and where the collective hopes of a nation rested with a humble ex-Governor of Massachusetts named Michael Dukakis. Yes, in honor of young-Rahal's accomplishment, we're going back to the time of our 19th year on earth! Think VH1's "I Love the ___ties" series but with less Hal Sparks.

Here-in no particular order- is the Ridebuyer list of things we were doing when 19 years-old. (Notice winning an IndyCar race is not on the list).

We were:

* Giving homeless people Arby's coupons in exchange for the purchase of Fosters tallboys.

* Lamenting the fact that the latest expansion pack for Microsoft Flight Simulator was a piece of shit and totally not worth $19.95.

* Thinking South Park was hilarious.

* Reading The Catcher in the Rye and completely relating to the plight of Holden Caulfield.

* Smoking Marlboro reds for a week until our jean jacket (complete with Rage Against the Machine patches) started to stink/we ran out of money.

* Thinking about beer.

* Attempting to buy beer.

* Attempting to speak with girls. (Results? Lacking.)

Cheers to you Graham Rahal, you appear to be much cooler and more successful at 19 than any of us were at that age, or could hope to be in the future. Fuck that. Here is gratuitous Homer Simpson video to make us feel better... Just change the lyrics from 17 to 19.

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