Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Rain day recourse

Work is a terrible thing, especially if your job is not interesting and pays poorly. Finding an alternative to actually working while at work is what keeps more people from walking into their respective offices and shooting anything above three feet in height.

Sports can be the alternative that saves lives.

Spring is a great time for work avoidance. Days are wrought with activities that can be followed while hunched in the seclusion of a cubicle. Baseball day games are the most convenient and popular of these activities for the general sporting fan. A hidden radio or online stream can make the most asinine of work days seem tolerable. Hours melt away; emails go unreturned, phone calls are not made, your bosses loss money because of you, things are great. Sadly, racing people are generally out of luck when it comes to work-dodging weekday events (excluding Friday NASCAR practice, which is horrendous to watch, let alone listen to whist dodging your boss).

May is the exception. May is our time. Each day, IndyCar practice can be enjoyed from the Speedway, sometimes for upwards of six-hours a session. God bless you, streaming audio and video. (Found at This is the perfect outlet for slacking, unless it rains. Which it did today. Fuck.

God forbid it rains in Indy (ever again). But, as the Boy Scouts teaches the youth of the nation, "be prepared." Here is a list of activities-aside from working, of course-that will get you through the day when rain strikes the Midwest. *Note, these have all been tested in actual work scenarios*

-Take a two-hour shit. Be sure to bring adequate reading material (last time this technique was employed an entire SI was front-to-backed).

- Search MySpace and Facebook for your work's clients. This can be modified depending on the industry which you work. For example, if you work in insurance, get the names of the newest clients and search away. You'll be amazed how creepy the general public is. By the way, if you are over the age of 24, you have no business being on any "social networking" website.

- Look for a new job. I recommend craigslist or monster. Think about how much less you'd work, if you made more money.

-Leave for lunch and never come back.

- Watch full episodes of "Cops" on youtube. Yes, your job is gay, but at least your not getting billy-clubbed.

- Check out the racecar auctions on ebay. This will kill two-hours easily.

-If it has been more than an hour since your last two-hour shit, take another one. Again, reading material is vital.

Hope this helps. And Christ, rain sucks.

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