Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Five reasons The Chase sucks

Only two weeks remain until the field will be set for the fifth iteration of the Chase for the Sprint Cup. Well, it's actually the first iteration for the Chase for the Sprint Cup, but you get the point. The plan for the NASCAR-Cup series playoff system has seen loads of criticism and praise. Some like it, some hate it, some would rather see their grandparents banging in a Gatlinburg motel than watch the seemingly contrived spectacle. This is for those people. This is for the people who think The Chase is lame, the season is too long anyway, and racing should by over by November. In short, this is for the haters. Prepare for devil's advocacy.

5) Baseball

The pennant races are getting good as The Chase starts, the playoffs are in full swing by the middle of The Chase, and the World Series will be long over by the time the final flag waves in Homestead (on November 16th). Why would anyone watch racing when fall baseball is so good?

4) It's contrived (made up)

The Chase was pretty much invented because Matt Kenseth won the Winston Cup in 2003 after only winning one race that season. Before The Chase was instituted, there was no huge points incentives to winning races. Ryan Newman won eight races in 2003, yet only finished sixth in points. Since that's just not American, The Chase, and its screwball scoring were put in place much to the chagrin of steady pacers across the world.

3) It's complicated as shit

You almost need a personal Asian tutor to explain the damn scoring system to the masses. Dale Earnhardt Jr. admitted he didn't understand how points were awarded in The Chase, and he's a fucking participant. How in the hell are Joe Sixpack and ourselves supposed to figure this out? These guys can't even figure out the race win bonus allotments.

2) Ken Schrader will never make it

Only the top-12 drivers make The Chase. That immediately makes the Ken Schrader/Dave Blaney fans of the world tune out. Some drivers are just never going make the "playoffs." Sure, they still race in all of the events, but the thrill is gone. What's the point of watching a race when your dude is not in contention to win the whole fucking thing? It's why people stop going to Royals' games in July. Nobody gives a shit.

1) Football

Goddamn football is sweet. The NFL, college games, whatever. That shit is the balls. No sport should ever attempt to compete with the real American pastime. Football starts on Labor Day weekend, you'd better get you silly races finished by that time. Playoffs? For NASCAR? You're kidding me. Not even close to the NFL playoffs or bowl season. Don't even try. All this "Chase" does is waste precious Sportscenter time when they could be talking about football. Fuck. That. Fall=Football. Chase=Gay.

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