Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Five reasons The Chase is the balls

In the interest of equal time, we present the reasons why The Chase is an absolute must-see, can't be missed, rather die with a hooker in a Motel 6 than skip a Chase race, event. Enjoy:

5) The races directly before The Chase are fucking awesome

Drivers and teams are starting to feel the pressure of perhaps missing the NASCAR playoffs. Oh, the horror. This will cause those on the bubble to take chances, get crazy with strategies and otherwise get racy in an effort to make The Chase. The night race in Richmond where the final Chase positions are figured is an incredibly dramatic sporting event on par with the best of stick and ball events.

4) Brent Musberger

There's no good reason for the sportscaster to have any involvement in the production of NASCAR events. He doesn't appear to have any more than a cursory knowledge (or interest) of/in motor racing. But, alas, Musberger is ABC's biggest deal of talent guys, and The Chase is their biggest deal in sports' productions. So, it's a fit for old Musberger to crack open a cold one and watch/talk bout some racin'. We love Musberger and his inclusion in The Chase-casts is worth the price of admission. Which is free, because it don't cost nothing to watch TV.

3) In case you're wondering who the best is...

If you haven't had a great season, you don't make The Chase. It's like natural selection for stockcar racing. Scrub-ass drivers and teams need not apply. If you like watching the best of the best of the best do their things, The Chase is for you. It is unbridled performance at its best. Only unpatriotic pinkos would not want to see this. The Chase is to NASCAR as Top Gun is to fighter pilots. Think about it.

2) Final race/final lap excitement

The Chase provides excitement. No longer can a driver amass a huge points lead and just coast to the championship. All points get reset, a clean slate is made and the season effectively restarts, as The Chase commences. Every year of The Chase, the championship was not decided until the final race of the year. That's like the World Series always having a Game 7, or like the Nathans' Hot Dog Championship going into an eat-off each year. An eat-off with reversal. You can't buy that kind of excitement.

1) Race until it snows

The Chase schedule goes until mid-November. Awesome. It's pretty much winter most places in the country, yet NASCAR still manages to schedule races. Football be damned. If you like racing, you should want that shit to happen year-round. And it does. With The Chase (or just NASCAR's schedule in general), you can always find a race. 15-inches of snow in your area? No worries The Chase goes to warm places like Phoenix and Miami to race. The season lasts forever and you fucking love it. God bless The Chase.

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