Wednesday, June 11, 2008

NASCAR, racists, and nappy heads

Few motor racing stories have the ability to infiltrate the pages or airwaves of the mainstream media. Almost nothing that happens on an actual racing circuit (save a fiery wreck or broad winning) has the legs to demand more than a few lines of copy here or there. That is, unless, the story deals with drugs, sex or something equally tantalizing. And if Jason Whitlock is commenting on this story, you know it has hit the big time.

The latest off-track motoring story to gain the dubious honor of relevance across the nation is the business of America's number one racing series potentially employing bigots. This story has all the makings of a Lifetime movie. Marginalized double minorities, oppressive southern-fried males, exposed cocks and rhyming diatribes are all gold in the eyes of editors, producers and whoever the fuck else calls the shots in the nation's newsrooms. Brace for the recourse, as you have no idea what will come spewing from Pandora's Box if this lawsuit gets nasty. And all signs say it will. (Don't believe us? Check out the filed-complaint. This stuff makes Sean Salisbury texted-cock pictures seem downright palatable.)

Regardless of the outcome, this complaint will set American motor racing back at least a decade in terms of public opinion. And not just stock car racing.

How many people in the country believe that the terms NASCAR and motor racing are synonymous? A lot.

Consider the following:

A fan of, let us say, sports car racing, is posted up at a bar sucking down 7 & 7's with a buddy. The conversation turns to racing and the two have a quite a lively debate about the pros and cons of multi-class road racing, when an attractive young lady overhears and approaches.

"How can you watch cars going around in circles for hours?" The lass fires.

Attempting to respond, our sporty car fan says, "well, it's not really circles, in fact..."

"You're all a bunch of racist fucking rednecks!" Her volume increases a few octaves.

It is of little consequence that our heroes are discussing marques like Porsche and Ferrari, or that the two themselves drive Mazdas, live in the suburbs and are college educated.

What, under normal circumstances, could have been a legitimate chance to have a Seagram's Seven-induced hookup fizzled into two men vainly attempting to keep a drink from being hurled at them.

In America, all forms of motorsports are just NASCAR. The general public sees no difference between the 3500-pound stockers that circulate tracks like Talladega and Daytona, and 1500-pound Indy Cars that tear around proper motoring circuits like Mid-Ohio and Sonoma. Motor racing means NASCAR, and NASCAR is for rednecks. Simple as that.

Now, thanks to allegations that everyone thinks are at least partly true, NASCAR is for racists and sexists. Thus, motor racing in general is for racists and sexists, no matter the series.

Thank you, NASCAR. Once again you have made it difficult for general racing fans to enjoy a great sport without being ridiculed and labeled a card-carrying KKK'er. Fucking sweet.

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